The Future Is Always Beginning Now
by Eternal Anime Fan
Summary: Mikan and Hotaru have no memories of the last 6 years, so they leave home to figure out why. On their way they meet others like them including a boy with crimson eyes that makes Mikan's heart race. Just who is this boy and what happened to them all? NxM
1. Chapter 1

Summary: Mikan wakes up in the hospital with no memories of the last 6 years, her grandpa tells her she was in a car accident, but something tells her thats a lie. She soon starts finding that more and more things just don't add up. She soon finds out her childhood friend is in the same condition, which she knows is to coincidental to be true, and they soon find they aren't the only ones searching for answers. One of the people they find is a crimson eyed boy who Mikan doesn't ever remember meeting, but for some reason she knows him and feels a tugging on her heart strings. Just who is this boy and what happened to them all?

The Future Is Always Beginning Now: Chapter 1

[NatsumeXMikan]

_"We have all forgot more than we can remember" - Thomas Fuller_

[NatsumeXMikan]

I've heard people tell me that the mind forgets more then it remembers. That's more true for me then almost everyone else out there. After all, I'm 16 and I can't remember a single thing from the last 6 years of my life.

My name is Mikan Sakura, and I just returned home from the hospital today with my Grandpa. I was supposedly in a bad car accident, which according to Grandpa was the cause of my memory loss and why I woke up with several broken bones and other numerous injuries all over my body. I can't remember what happened, but for some reason I have the weirdest feeling that he's lying to me.

When Grandpa and I arrived home, I immediately went to my room. It looked exactly like I remembered it, which means it looks exactly like it did 6 years ago, like it was decorated by a 10 year old girl. The room was pale pink, with white sheep printed on the walls. I shuddered. Did I really still like those kind of childish things?

I continued to look around my room, starting to notice things that didn't make sense. For one, out of all the pictures I had around my room, none of them were of myself or friends past when we were 10 years old. Another oddity was that the pictures, among many things in my room, were coated in a think layer of dust. Even if I've been in the hospital for over a month, the dust would not look like no one had been in this room for the last 6 years.

I quickly blew off the dust on my favorite picture near my bedside, a picture of me and my best friend Hotaru. Was Hotaru still my best friend? I couldn't imagine her not being, but what if something had changed in the last 6 years? What if she'd moved?

"Grandpa?" I called to him.

"Yes, Mikan?" He replied, coming into my room.

"What happened to Hotaru?"

Grandpa didn't answer me right away, like he wasn't quite sure what to say.

"Grandpa? What happened to Hotaru?" I asked him again. I was starting to get nervous. Why wouldn't he answer me?

"Mikan, I didn't tell you this before because you were still recovering in the hospital, but Hotaru also had an accident." He said carefully. He was frowning, causing several more wrinkles to appear on his forehead.

"W-what do you mean, Grandpa? What accident? Is Hotaru alright?" I asked him, my voice reaching a higher pitch then usual.

"You see Mikan, you remember how Hotaru loves to invent things right?" He asked me warily.

"Yes I remember," I replied. How could I not remember that? Hotaru always tested her inventions out on me, which usually ended with my face in the ground.

"Well she was building another one last month and well... something went wrong. She's alive, but Hotaru lost her memories as well... She's lost her memories of the last six years, just... like you," He finished lamely.

"Huh?" Two people who got amnesia at the same time but in different accidents? And lost their memories of the exact same length of time? This could not just be a coincidence. The feeling my Grandpa was hiding something from me, was stronger then ever. Why didn't things add up? What else could've possibly happened to me to land me in the hospital without my memories of the past six years? Why was Hotaru involved too? And what could possibly make Grandpa lie to me like this?

"Grandpa, are you telling me the truth?" I asked him accusingly.

Grandpa looked scared at my question, but then quickly put on a stern face.

"Mikan how dare you accuse me of not telling the truth! I'll let you off this time because you just got back from the hospital, but I don't want to hear anymore of this and I want you to go straight to bed. You're still recovering and need to rest." He said loudly, before he quickly walked off.

I just sighed. Except for the whole part where I knew, just knew, he was lying, Grandpa was acting like himself again. Ever since I woke up it seems like he's been walking on eggshells around me, like I was a glass doll that could unexpectedly break at any time.

Unfortunitly, this meant I wasn't going to be able to get any answers from him anytime soon. Grandpa was as stubborn as a mule, he had been for the ten years I remember him, and I doubt he's changed in the last six years.

I went to bed. I decided I would talk to him in the morning; he may be stubborn but so was I.

In my dreams, I saw the color crimson.

[NatsumeXMikan]

I woke up the next morning to the pale pink wallpaper with sheep prints and made a mental note to do some redecorating as soon as possible. When I got to the kitchen, I found a note from Grandpa. It said he went out to visit some friends and didn't know when he would be back so I shouldn't wait up for him.

Now I was angry. Was Grandpa trying to avoid me now? Unless things had changed, I remember he hardly ever left the temple (it is a temple right?) and, out of respect, almost all of his friends came here to visit him.

Well since he said not to wait up for him I guess I was going to take things into my own hands. I wasn't quite sure where to start looking for answers, so I decided to take a walk around town for the rest of the morning before trying something else. Who knows, maybe I'll see something that will jog my memory?

A little later I was just walking past a small grocery store, that Grandpa and I used to shop at often, when I heard someone calling my name.

"Mikan!"

I looked around but didn't see who was calling until I saw a girl my age running towards me, waving. Did I know this person? If she knows me maybe she could give me some clues about the last six years!

She stopped in front of me, breathing hard. Then she suddenly straightened up and examined my face closely.

"You are Mikan right?" She asked me, standing back.

"Yes?" Who was this girl?

"Mikan it's me Risa! We went to school together when we were 10!" The girl said excitedly.

"Risa? Oh, Risa! Hi!" I grinned at her, finally remembering. She looked different from how I remembered her, she had died her black hair to brown and even though she had always been the tallest out of my group of friends, she was way taller now. (A/N: I looked back at episode 1 and she is friends with 3 other girls besides Hotaru, never was any of their names mentioned so I picked one of them and gave them a name.)

"I haven't seen you in six years! How are you? Everyone was so worried when you suddenly ran away, but we assumed you finally went to see Hotaru. Am I right? Did you find Hotaru? How was she doing? Why didn't you come back until now?" She asked me, getting more and more excited after each question.

Huh? In six years? Where did Hotaru go? I RAN AWAY FROM HOME!

I didn't completely understand, but it looks like I found my first clue.

[NatsumeXMikan]

**Yes I'm Back! Please review :)**


	2. Chapter 2

The Future Is Always Beginning Now: Chapter 2

_Special Thanks To:_

**My Twin **- who posted an anonymous review after I requested she read my new fic

**The Sexy Beast **- another good friend who's review made my day and who is now officially my Beta! (so if you find any grammar mistakes you can blame her :P)

**mikasa LEE **- who through a strange series of events read my story at my request

**Yuri no Kimi **- who was the only person not obligated to review! And who I would like to thank for liking my plot :)

[NatsumeXMikan]

"The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time." -Friedrich Nietzsche

[NatsumeXMikan]

-Recap-

_"I haven't seen you in six years! How are you? Everyone was so worried when you suddenly ran away, but we assumed you finally went to see Hotaru. Am I right? Did you find Hotaru? How was she doing? Why didn't you come back until now?" She asked me, getting more and more excited after each question._

_Huh? In six years? Where did Hotaru go? I RAN AWAY FROM HOME?_

_I didn't completely understand, but it looks like I found my first clue._

-Recap Over-

I grabbed both of Risa's shoulders with my hands. She jumped slightly in surprise.

"Risa, can you tell me everything you know about what happened six years ago?" I asked her seriously.

Risa just stared at me as if I was crazy.

"Risa, I'm not crazy. I swear, I've just got amnesia. I can't remember anything from the last six years and I need your help," I told her pleadingly.

"Are you serious? You're not pulling my leg, Mikan?" She asked me, obviously unsure of whether she should believe me.

"Yes. I swear I'm not lying to you, Risa. I honestly have no memory about anything you just asked me about."

She just stood there, her mouth wide open in disbelief. I was starting to get a little impatient.

"Risa, what can you tell me about what happened six years ago?" I asked firmly. She seemed to snap out of her stupor.

"Sorry, Mikan, it's just surprising. Well, um, let's see. It all started when we heard the school was going to close down because of money problems. You were horrified and tried to stop it. Later, we saw Hotaru and her mom talking to the principal, and that's when you received one of Hotaru's turtle mails. You really don't remember this at all?" Risa asked, frowning.

I shook my head, my own expression mirroring hers.

"What did the mail say?" I asked.

"The turtle mail was Hotaru's way of telling you she was leaving to go to another school in Tokyo. It wasn't just any school either, it was that special school for geniuses where the children are treated like special treasures by the government."

"W-What? And Hotaru just went? Why would she leave me like that? And how could she be so mean as to tell me by turtle mail?" I asked her, shocked and completely hurt that Hotaru would do such a thing. How could I forget something so important?

Risa examined my face closely, looking a little shocked herself.

"You aren't crying? Well I guess it has been six years, but you always used to be such a crybaby. You cried a lot when this all happened..."

"Huh?" I touched my cheek right under my eyes. She was right, there weren't any tears. How strange, I always cry when I'm sad.

"Well anyway, you confronted Hotaru after that, and she hit you with her giant fly swatter and got into the black car from the academy. You were absolutely miserable after that, sending her letters every two days, but it wasn't until nine months later that she sent you anything in return. If I remember correctly, it was a postcard that was so casual it was ridiculous. You were really upset after that; a few days later, you ran away from home during the night. No one had heard or seen from you ever since," she told me sadly.

So now I knew how all of this started. I ran off to a school in Tokyo to go visit my best friend who abandoned me. Did I make it there? Or did something happen to me that prevented me from reaching my destination?

After that, Risa and I talked a little more. She told me about things that had happened to her and to our other friends while I was gone, and I just listened, not having anything new to share with her. Her cell phone went off as she was telling me about her current boyfriend. Oddly enough, it was the boy she had just been telling me about, wanting to know why she hadn't shown up for their date yet. She apologized to me, saying we'd catch up again soon, before we both said our goodbyes and went our separate ways.

Looks like my next step is to go and see Hotaru.

[NatsumeXMikan] 

When I arrived at Hotaru's house, it was late afternoon, my talk with Risa having taken longer then I had anticipated. I rang the doorbell, which was a surprising normal piece of technology for Hotaru's house. Now that I think about it, I don't think that Hotaru's parents have ever let her tinker with the house, especially the outside.

Hotaru's mother answered the door, her eyes widening when she saw me.

"M-Mikan," she said, like she was startled.

"Hi, Mrs. Imai. It's been a while hasn't it? Would you mind if I saw Hotaru?" I asked hopefully. Perhaps Hotaru wouldn't be able to see me, because she was still recovering, or possibly she was still at the hospital.

"Ummm, well," she hesitated, glancing behind her.

I followed her gaze, wondering what it was she was looking at, before something right inside the door caught my eye.

"Mrs. Imai, is my grandpa in there?" I asked incredulously.

"Oh, uh, yes, yes he is. I asked him to stop by today so we could talk, we have been really busy since you and Hotaru were in those accidents," she said with a small smile.

"You two are close?" I asked, surprised. When Hotaru and I used to hang out when we were ten, they met and talked a few times but never seemed particularly close. They never went out of their way to talk to each other, at any rate.

"Oh yes, we became rather close after both you and Hotaru went to-" She paused for a second, looking like she had almost said something she shouldn't have, "After you both went to the hospital."

What was she going to say? She obviously wasn't going to say hospital. Was she talking about that school Risa told me about? So she was also hiding the truth from me? Why do all the adults keep lying and hiding things from me?

"I thought I recognized that annoyingly loud voice," said a familiar black-haired, amethyst-eyed girl as she appeared in the doorway.

"Hotaru!" I said, grinning. I went to hug her, temporarily forgetting how upset I was.

"Baka," she said, letting me hug her impassively.

We both froze, realizing something was wrong. This wasn't how it was supposed to go, I was supposed to cry, blubber, and have snot dripping out of my nose, and she was supposed to step to the side, letting me crash to the ground. Yet here we were, my eyes completely dry and her in my arms. I let go of her, standing back just a little, as my conversation with Risa finally broke through my elation at seeing Hotaru again.

"Hotaru why did you go off to- mmhmmm," my question got cut off thanks to Hotaru putting her hand over it. She motioned with her eyes to her mother, who was now standing a little behind her. I got the message.

"Mother, can I take Mikan up to my room for a little bit? I want to show her a few of my new toys," Hotaru asked her mother, her voice monotonous as usual.

"Well, I guess that would be okay for a few minutes, but only until I've finished talking to her grandfather about a few things. You both are still recovering and need to rest."

Hotaru nodded, dragging me up the stairs towards her room.

"She wouldn't have agreed to that if she knew half of the things I've found hidden away in my room," Hotaru mumbled.

We reached her room, and Hotaru immediately started to dig under her bed for something.

"Hotaru, what-?" I was cut off again as Hotaru shushed me before giving me what looked like fluffy earphones. Suddenly I could hear the voices of Grandpa and Mrs. Imai as clearly as if they were in this room with us. And what they were saying left me speechless.

Alright, in this chapter I gave you guys a bone and a rotten apple. Now which one are you going to bite? :)

**Please Review!**


	3. Chapter 3

The Future Is Always Beginning Now: Chapter 3

_Special Thanx:_

**The Sexy Beast -** my wonderful friend and my OCD beta :D everyone thank her for her efforts! (I personally hav horrible grammar. see i forgot to add the e at the end of hav! :P)

**Yuri no Kimi - **who is STILL the only person not obligated to review :) i'm really glad you like my story, thank you SO much for reviewing. I found a sight that has a lot of quotes that involve memory so I look at the list and chose which one I think best fits the chapter, i'm glad you like them.

[NatsumeXMikan]

Memory is the scribe of the soul. - Aristotle

[NatsumeXMikan]

-Recap-

_"Mother, can I take Mikan up to my room for a little bit? I want to show her a few of my new toys," Hotaru asked her mother, her voice monotonous as usual._

_"Well, I guess that would be okay for a few minutes, but only until I've finished talking to her grandfather about a few things. You both are still recovering and need to rest."_

_Hotaru nodded, dragging me up the stairs towards her room._

_"She wouldn't have agreed to that if she knew half of the things I've found hidden away in my room," Hotaru mumbled._

_We reached her room, and Hotaru immediately started to dig under her bed for something._

_"Hotaru, what-?" I was cut off again as Hotaru shushed me before giving me what looked like fluffy earphones. Suddenly I could hear the voices of Grandpa and Mrs. Imai as clearly as if they were in this room with us. And what they were saying left me speechless._

-Recap Over-

"What is your granddaughter doing here? I mean, I expected her to come visit Hotaru sometime over the next few days, but not this soon! What'll we do if they start figuring out the truth? We can't let them find out; we just got them both back!"

We heard Mrs. Imai shouting this through the headphones.

"Yes, I'm worried as well... Mikan has started to ask me things. We just have to be strong I suppose, and not give in to their questioning. Surely they won't be able to figure too much out on their own, as long as we keep quiet, right? There's nothing connecting them to that place now that they're here, except for each other. Because they both lost their memories that shouldn't give anything away," my grandpa replied soothingly.

"I'm just glad Hotaru doesn't remember how to use her Alice anymore. She knows she built all her gadgets and things, but whenever she sits down and tries to make a new one, she just can't seem to figure out how. Do you think all of those poor kids forgot how to use their Alices? Maybe it's a side-effect?"

"Hmm, maybe. That would be for the best, especially in that boy's case," my grandpa said sadly.

"Yes. He was the most damaged out of everyone. I think that, had this happened to them all a little later, he might not have survived."

"And if that boy hadn't survived, I'm not sure my granddaughter would've either..."

"That's probably true. So should we keep them, Mikan and Hotaru, I mean, separate as much as possible?" Hotaru's mother asked.

"No, I think it's safe, but we should keep a close eye on them just in case," Grandpa replied thoughtfully.

"Well. I don't like talking about this while they're both inside the house with us. Let's meet up another day soon to continue our conversation."

"Alright, I'll go fetch Mikan from Hotaru's room." my grandpa said.

Hotaru and I both took off our fluffy headphones, I hadn't noticed until now that Hotaru was wearing a pair as well. We stared at each other, trying to take in what we had just heard.

"Hotaru, what are we going to do?" I asked her, my head spinning with all the newfound information.

"Easy. We have only one choice if we want answers. We're going to run away."

I stared at her for a few seconds. Was she joking? She stared back, completely serious.

"Mikan, you know that there's no other way if we want some answers," she told me.

"Mikan! It's time to head home," we heard my grandpa call up the stairs.

"B-but Hotaru! We can't just-" I said quietly, still shocked

"Baka. Like I said we have no choice. Do you want to spend the rest of your life not knowing what really happened?"

"Mikan, if you don't hurry I'm going to come up and get you," called Grandpa again.

"I'm coming Grandpa! Just a second" I called back to him.

"Not tonight though, I need time to get some things ready. Meet me at the train station tomorrow night at eight. Bring everything you're going to need, but don't let your grandfather figure out what you're doing."

I nodded, knowing that she was right. I wasn't going to spend the rest of my life not knowing what had happened to us, and what could have been so bad as to cause all of the adults to lie to us. There was no other way.

I said goodbye to Hotaru and walked down stairs to meet my grandpa. He smiled at me, a warm gentle smile.

"Did you have fun seeing Hotaru again?" He asked. And behind that gentle smile I saw worry, worry at what Hotaru and I had been up to. It was then that I truely resolved my heart to what I was going to do with Hotaru the next night. I wasn't going to live like this, wondering why he was worrying.

I just gave him a small smile in reply and nodded.

[NatsumeXMikan]

I lay down on my bed as soon as we got home. When Grandpa called me down for dinner I told him I wasn't hungry. He asked if I was sick, but believed my words. So I just lay there in bed, thinking, wondering. I stared up at the pale pink ceiling, at those white sheep, and for the first time since I got back from the hospital, I didn't have the sudden urge to paint over them.

What was an Alice? How come Hotaru couldn't build things anymore? What had happened to us that made Mrs. Imai and Grandpa so upset? What place were they talking about? Was it that special school Risa had told me about earlier? What other kids were they talking about? Were there more kids like Hotaru and me out there? And what about the boy they were talking about? Why was he so special, and why would I not have survived if he hadn't? What was the truth?

This was all so frustrating. Every time I seemed to get an answer to one of my questions, five more would pop up in its place!

"Mikan! There's a package in the mail for you," my grandpa called to me.

A package? For me? Who would I get a package from? I got up from bed and walked into the kitchen where my grandpa was reading the mail. A small brown box lay on the kitchen table. I picked it up.

"Who's it from?" I asked, not seeing a name on it anywhere. It felt light.

"No idea," he responded, shrugging. His eyes never left the piece of mail he was reading.

I was about to open the package, right there in the kitchen, but my instincts told me otherwise.

I went to my room, fumbling as I tried to open the package. When I finally managed to open it, I looked inside. I pulled out a small white piece of paper, with two words written on it.

_Don't forget_

I looked inside the box again, hoping there was something a little less confusing then the words had been. Inside was a pretty crimson stone.

I can't really describe the feeling that came over me when I saw that stone, but I felt something change inside of me. I took it out, loving the sensation of warmth that rose within my very core as I held it in my hand. I didn't know why or how, but somehow I knew that this stone was very precious to me.

I went to bed after that, not sparing the words on the paper another thought. I just curled up in bed, holding that crimson stone close to my chest as I fell into the world of dreams.

I dreamt of the same crimson color as the stone in my hand.

This was a big chapter for those of you reading my story. I hope you enjoyed it. PLEASE REVIEW! You saw how patheticly short my special thanx list was :'(


	4. Chapter 4

The Future Is Always Beginning Now: Chapter 4

_Special Thanx:_

**The Sexy Beast -** She's a fantastic friend and a fantastic Beta! She insists on knowing the story like everyone else and won't let me spoil anything until the chapter is ready for her to beta, this makes it hard when I encounter writers block because she can't help me through an idea, BUT this way she can give me the readers pov and how they feel, more or less, about the chapter/story. And she reviews every chapter most of the time telling me things that she doesn't tell me as she betas. Thank you so much The Sexy Beast!

**Yuri no Kimi - **who again is the ONLY person to review who is not my beta. No I don't mind giving you the site at all, I mean besides fact that there's no reason not to give it to you, I am also greatly indebted to you for not only sticking with this story since chapter one, but reviewing for EVERY chapter! (and again you are the only non-obligated person to review) Anyway you've made me REALLY happy so the website is .?tematica=754&page=1 anyway I truly do hope that you will continue to read my story and review it :) (and yes I am totally trying to guilt you into continuing to review :P)

**My Twin - **Um, Twin dear? That's not really a cliff hanger, it was actually a pretty solid ending as far as chapter endings go. But thanx for reviewing at 1:13 in the morning :P

[NatsumeXMikan]

"Our moments of inspiration are not lost though we have no particular poem to show for them; for those experiences have left an indelible impression, and we are ever and anon reminded of them."

- Henry David Thoreau

[NatsumeXMikan]

-Recap-

_"Hotaru, what are we going to do?" I asked her, my head spinning with all the newfound information._

_"Easy. We have only one choice if we want answers. We're going to run away."_

_"Not tonight though, I need time to get some things ready. Meet me at the train station tomorrow night at eight. Bring everything you're going to need, but don't let your grandfather figure out what you're doing."_

_I nodded, knowing that she was right. I wasn't going to spend the rest of my life not knowing what had happened to us, and what could have been so bad as to cause all of the adults to lie to us. There was no other way._

_[NatsumeXMikan]_

_I went to my room, fumbling as I tried to open the package. When I finally managed to open it, I looked inside. I pulled out a small white piece of paper, with two words written on it._

_Don't forget_

_I looked inside the box again, hoping there was something a little less confusing then the words had been. Inside was a pretty crimson stone._

_I can't really describe the feeling that came over me when I saw that stone, but I felt something change inside of me. I took it out, loving the sensation of warmth that rose within my very core as I held it in my hand. I didn't know why or how, but somehow I knew that this stone was very precious to me._

_I went to bed after that, not sparing the words on the paper another thought. I just curled up in bed, holding that crimson stone close to my chest as I fell into the world of dreams._

_I dreamt of the same crimson color as the stone in my hand._

-Recap Over-

When I woke up the next morning, I kept my eyes closed and just lay there, not moving. I knew this would be the last time for who knows how long that I would sleep in this bed. I was running away with Hotaru tonight after all, and I had no idea what our journey would be like or how long it would take. I spent a few minutes just laying there, thinking about how I wanted to spend my last day here. When I heard the sounds of grandpa preparing breakfast, I knew exactly how I wanted to spend today.

I got up, stretched, and stared down at the crimson stone I was still holding in my hand. What was I going to do with it? There was no way I was going to leave it there; I felt absolute horror at the very thought. I supposed I could put the stone in my bag with the other things I was bringing, but the thought didn't appeal to me in the slightest. I didn't want this stone packed into a bag, I wanted it on me, somewhere I could make sure it stayed safe and somewhere it would always be right on hand if I wanted it. My pocket? No, there was too big a chance it would fall out. A necklace? Yes, that sounded perfect. Too bad I didn't own one that would work. I guess that one of the stops for me today should be to get a necklace.

I went into the kitchen, as I wondered how to ask grandpa my question without making it obvious I was saying goodbye.

"Good morning, Grandpa," I said cheerfully.

"Good morning, Mikan. So your grandpa had an idea today! How about you and I go into town together today? We can go shopping, and I can show you what's changed in the last six years," he said with a large smile.

I was taken aback with surprise. How did Grandpa know what I was going to ask him? Oh well, it saves me the trouble of finding a way to ask him I guess.

"That would be great!" I said happily. Today was going to be a lot of fun if I could keep my mind away from what I was going to be doing tonight.

[NatsumeXMikan]

We were going around town, buying everything from clothes to books. Somehow we managed to get everything I would need to pack for tonight including clothes, toiletries and even a dark blue camping bag. I asked grandpa why we were getting the bag, and he told me that we would go camping together later in the week. I looked away from him when he said that; I knew that there wouldn't be a camping trip because I wouldn't be here. But there was no way Grandpa could know that.

Grandpa pointed out to me a candle shop, a flower shop and an arts and crafts store that had all been built in the last three years or so. We continued walking around, stopping to shop in stores that caught our eyes and even stopped to grab something from a food stall we were passing. Just as we were finishing our crepes, we walked by a jewelry store. On display I saw a beautiful golden necklace with a large, but not bulky, locket. My crimson stone would fit perfectly in there.

My grandpa also caught sight of the necklace and laughed.

"Girls and their jewelry, I suppose. Well, do you want it?" He asked me this with his large grin still plastered on his face.

I just nodded, embarrassed. Five minutes later we came out of the store, the necklace around my neck with the stone placed safely inside. I put the stone inside of the locket while my grandpa had his back turned, paying the man at the register. It felt like today was my birthday, with my grandpa buying anything I wanted that wasn't over his budget.

We were eating dinner at a restaurant around five-thirty, and at six-thirty we left the restaurant, starting to head for home. One of the last stores before heading out of the town was a toy store. I stopped, staring at a few of the stuffed animals in the display window. For some reason I just stood there, staring at them, almost expecting them to move, to come alive. A deep pang of sadness overcame me when they didn't.

While I had been staring at the toys, I hadn't noticed my grandpa disappear inside the store. He came out of the store after a few minutes, which brought me out of my trance.

"Oh, sorry about that, Grandpa. I guess I just dazed out or something. What'd you get?" I said, noticing the brown bag he had in his hands.

"I saw this and I... I thought you might like it," he said, a sad smile adorning his wrinkly visage. He handed the bag to me.

Curious, I opened the bag and pulled out a stuffed animal. It was a black cat with crimson eyes. I freaking adore it! I'm very happy with the cat, but I also registered a great sense of longing inside of me. I hugged the cat to my chest, wondering why this stuffed animal was bringing out such a strange reaction in me. I looked up at my grandpa to thank him, and I was met with the same sad smile he had on when he first gave me the cat.

"His name is Nat, take good care of him, okay, Mikan?"

I just nodded, not sure what to say. Somehow 'thank you' just didn't seem appropriate. We started walking home again, the necklace and locket against my neck, and Nat held securely in my arms.

[NatsumeXMikan]

We arrived home around seven, which gave me an hour to pack. I could hear Grandpa complaining about how exhausting a teenage girl could be, yawning as he entered his bedroom and closed the door. I was putting everything I thought I could possibly need inside the blue camping bag. I finished packing and put Nat on the top of the bag before I zipping it up so that Nat's head and forepaws remained visible.

I went quietly into the kitchen, making sure not to make any noise that might alert grandpa as to what I was doing. I left a note on the fridge, holding it in place with a tangerine magnet. I walked to the back door, opening it to the outside. Then I paused, suddenly uncertain.

"Goodbye, Grandpa," I whispered into the empty kitchen, knowing it didn't matter. He wouldn't hear me anyway.

Closing the door silently behind me, I glanced back once to the temple behind me as I ran down the dark road, leaving grandpa and everything else behind me.

[NatsumeXMikan]

The old man stood looking out of the kitchen window, a note in his hand, watching the girl disappear into the gathering darkness.

"I guess she never was type to sit placidly in her comfy cage like a good girl, just letting others take care of her. She is my granddaughter after all," he said softly to himself.

"Goodbye, Mikan. Take good care of Nat."

**That was kind of a sad ending wasn't it? Please tell me your thoughts on it. Review.**

**Also I want to mention that I snuck in a reference to the death of a past Gakuen Alice character. Can you see where the reference is and to whom I'm referring?**


	5. Chapter 5

The Future Is Always Beginning Now: Chapter 5

**Sorry that's it's already been over 2 full weeks since I updated. After I finished chapter 4 I realized that if I didn't change SOMETHING in how I go about writing my stories, this story would end up like all the my others, incomplete. So for a week I've been planning out my entire story and I did it :) I have the whole story planned out, actually I have every CHAPTER planned out. If all goes according to plan this story should be 17 chapters long. And btw the plan I wrote out is over 17 pages long so you guys better appreciate it ;) Notice how I said it took me a week to plan everything out and yet its been 2 weeks since I last updated. On the 4th of July weekend I came down with Walking Ammonia. Has anyone ever heard of that before? I haven't but it was absolutely horrible! It was non-stop fever for a week, and the fever kept creeping up to 103 degrees! The doc gave me an inhailer for the horrid cough that also comes with it. So yeah those are my exuses for why I haven't updated, and I swear they are both true, my beta can prove it as she's been listening to me whine the entire time :D**

**Anyway enough of my rambling.**

_Special Thanx:_

**WitheredWings101 - **I'm so glad you like it! thanx for the review and thanx for the advice, I'll stop worrying now because after all, the future is always beginning now ;)

**The Sexy Beast - **My incredible Beta! I felt bad for the grandpa cuse Mikan was leaving him but as a character I really liked writing him. Glad you liked the kitty :)

**My Twin - **That wasn't the reference I was talking about but it was still a reference. I'm glad someone said something, I thought it was going to go unnoticed :'(

**Yuri no Kimi -** No problem, I meant every word. And awww thanx for all your support! :)

**manga-girl-freak - **yeah it was kinda a sad chapter... This chapters not sad at all though :3

[NatsumeXMikan]

If you are speaking the truth you don't have to remember anything. -Mark Twain

[NatsumeXMikan]

_-Recap-_

_I went quietly into the kitchen, making sure not to make any noise that might alert grandpa as to what I was doing. I left a note on the fridge, holding it in place with a tangerine magnet. I walked to the back door, opening it to the outside. Then I paused, suddenly uncertain._

_"Goodbye, Grandpa," I whispered into the empty kitchen, knowing it didn't matter. He wouldn't hear me anyway._

_Closing the door silently behind me, I glanced back once to the temple behind me as I ran down the dark road, leaving grandpa and everything else behind me._

_[NatsumeXMikan]_

_The old man stood looking out of the kitchen window, a note in his hand, watching the girl disappear into the gathering darkness._

_"I guess she never was type to sit placidly in her comfy cage like a good girl, just letting others take care of her. She is my granddaughter after all," he said softly to himself._

_"Goodbye, Mikan. Take good care of Nat."_

_-Recap Over-_

I stopped in front of the station, putting my hands on my knees as I tried to catch my breath. What time was it? Hotaru would be mad if I was late…

I looked up at the clock on the front of the station, right above the doors. It read six minutes past six-o-clock. That couldn't be right... Then I noticed the second hand wasn't moving any farther from the number one then it already was, and the clock had a large crack in it. Great, the clock was broken, just my luck.

A chill went up my spine. I looked around and quickly found the source. Sitting on a nearby bench was a girl, glaring at me with a pair of amethyst eyes. From the looks of it, I was right; I was a few minutes late.

"Sorry! I'm really sorry, Hotaru!" I said, running up to her.

"Baka. What took you so long? I said meet me at eight, NOT eight-o-five," she replied, obviously not happy with me.

"I said I was sorry. I had to write a goodbye note to Grandpa," I said apologetically.

"Hmph. Well fortunately for you, I was already prepared for you being late. Our train doesn't leave until nine."

"Why have us be here an entire hour early, then? I could've spent a little longer with Grandpa," I pouted.

"Just in case you couldn't find a way to get away from your grandfather, or something else happened. Now that we have this extra time, we can share our knowledge on the current situation with each other."

I nodded. That made sense.

"I'm not expecting much, but what do you know about this whole ordeal?" Hotaru asked me. She stared at me without blinking.

I thought about what I knew. Really, she was right. I didn't know much of anything that had happened to us. All I had was a bunch of questions. After a moment, Hotaru let out a heavy sigh.

"All right. Why don't you just start at the beginning?"

"Well, I woke up in the hospital about a month ago. Grandpa told me I'd been in an accident. A few days ago I was finally allowed to come home, and I noticed that my room looked exactly like it had the last time I remembered seeing it. I asked Grandpa about you and he told me that a month ago something went wrong while you were inventing things. He told me that was how you lost your memories, like I did," I said, looking at her for some sign of confirmation about the story.

"Yes, that's what they told me, as well. However, the chances of something like that happening with one of my inventions is less then one percent. A near impossibility," Then she nodded, like she was thinking about how ridiculous the concept was.

Suddenly the whole reason I went to visit Hotaru yesterday came rushing back to me.

"Oh! I saw Risa yesterday! She told me about something that happened around the time where my memory stops. Do you remember anything about leaving all of us for an Academy in Tokyo?"

I saw Hotaru close her eyes. Was she thinking?

"No, I don't. Mikan, what do you know about Alices?" She asked, eyes still closed.

Alices? Oh, didn't Grandpa and Mrs. Imai mention Alices yesterday?

"I don't know anything. I only heard them mentioned yesterday," I told her, totally confused at this point.

"I didn't think so. If it has to do with the Academy then I can understand why I might be involved, but what about you?" She asked, opening her eyes to look at me. The way she was staring at me made me feel like I was under some kind of examination.

"Hotaru, what are Alices?"

"I'll keep it as simple as possible so your small brain can keep up," Hotaru sighed.

"Hotaru, you meanie! My brain is not small!" Sure, sometimes I don't notice really obvious things, but I'm not dumb. I swear!

"Baka. Alices are abilities people are sometimes born with. I have what's called the Invention Alice. It enables me to build and invent things, like the name suggests. Other Alices include abilities like flying or teleportation."

"Sugoi (amazing)! So Alices are super powers? Ne, ne, Hotaru, what's my Alice?" I grinned excitedly. Maybe I had some kind of really powerful Alice! I hope it's a really cool one!

"Don't get so excited. I'm not even sure if you have an Alice. If the academy is involved with us losing our memories then we can assume you do, but there is no proof yet," Hotaru said, rolling her eyes at me.

Eh? I might not have an Alice? Oh no... That's so disappointing! How did Hotaru know all of this stuff?

"Hotaru, how do you know so much about all of this? I've never heard of Alices or this "Academy" before."

"I've always known these things. My older brother is also an Alice; he was taken by the academy when he was five. I never got a chance to meet him. Ever since my parents discovered that I possessed an Alice, they've been teaching me things, including things about the world I would one day enter into."

"Oh..." I mumbled, not sure what to say anymore. I didn't even know that Hotaru had an older brother until now. How sad that Hotaru never got a chance to meet him!

"Dummy, it's fine. Here, take a look at this map I have. It has the train route we'll be taking to Tokyo."

Hotaru then started to fumble with a black backpack sitting next to her on the bench. Out of the corner of my eye I saw something white move on her neck. A necklace? But Hotaru never wore jewelry!

"Hotaru, what's that around your neck?" I asked curiously, pointing to the object in question.

Hotaru stopped going through one of the backpack's side pockets to glance down at her neck.

"Oh, this?" She asked, taking off the necklace and holding it out in her hand to show me.

I nodded, looking at the strange white stone that was on a thin metal chain. It looked familiar... Oh! Hotaru's white stone looked a lot like my crimson stone! Well, except for the fact it was white and slightly smaller.

"Hey, Hotaru! Look at this!" I shouted excitedly, reaching for the locket around my neck. I fumbled clumsily with the little lock in my eagerness, trying to get to the crimson stone inside. Finally it opened and I picked out the stone, holding it gingerly in my hand as I showed it to her. I put my hand side to side with hers, so that the stones were next to each other. I was careful, not letting my excitement cause me to drop the stone accidentally.

"See? Don't they look oddly similar?" I asked. Now that they were next to each other, I began to notice why I thought they looked similar. Both stones had an unnatural smooth texture and they both glittered like gems. They both had a roundness to their shape and no edges. I looked up to see Hotaru's reaction only to see her eyes trained on the stones with great focus. Suddenly her eyes darted up to meet mine.

"Where did you get this?" She asked.

"I got it the other night, after I saw you. It was in a package from the mail. Actually it was really weird - there was no return address or anything," I replied. I hadn't really thought about it before, seeing how I was way to busy focusing on the stone itself and my thoughts of leaving home, but who had sent this?

"Did you get anything else with it? A strange piece of paper, for example?"

A strange piece of paper? Wasn't there one in the box with the stone?

"Yeah, there was! It only had the words "Don't Forget" on it." That was another thing I had been too preoccupied to really think about. Wait, don't forget? It sounded like the sender knew I had amnesia. Actually, it kind of sounded like they had known I was going to forget before it happened. But that's crazy, right?

"I also received this stone in the mail the other night. In the box was the same piece of paper you just described, Mikan."

Well, that would explain why the stones were so similar, but... just what exactly did this all mean?

We just looked at each other for a few silent moments before Hotaru pulled her hand back and refastened the necklace around her neck.

"It's just one more question we need to find an answer too, that's all. It's just another reason we need to do this."

I brought my hand back as well, clutching the stone to my chest.

For some reason that didn't sound quite right. This crimson stone I'm holding right now, it's more then just another reason. It feels more like 'the reason'.

"Hotaru, I think that's wrong. I can't really explain it, but... this stone... it feels like something special, something more," I said uncertainly.

I saw Hotaru pause, then clutch the white stone that was around her neck. She looked down at her hand, tightly gripping the white stone.

"Perhaps you're right," She whispered, just loud enough that I could hear. Then I saw her face. Hotaru's usually stoic face had a small, gentle smile on it as she gazed down at the thing in her hand. It surprised me, seeing Hotaru's face like that. I've never seen her smile like that before. Maybe that white stone is just as important to Hotaru as the crimson stone was to me? For some reason, I felt really happy seeing Hotaru like that, even if it wasn't for me. I felt a silly grin spread across my face.

"Baka, stop grinning like that, people are staring at us. We don't need any weird attention," Hotaru said suddenly, quickly tucking the white stone behind her shirt collar.

Suddenly she was back to the same old Hotaru.

"Anyway, here. This is the route we're taking," she said, pulling a map out of her backpack's pocket. She traced a light brown route on the now open map with her finger. "It shouldn't take us more then a few hours to get there so we're going to have to decide what we want to do. We'll probably just want to go to bed so I've already searched for a hotel with open rooms there. I also have the money prepared."

I looked at the map again. Something didn't feel right about this plan... It didn't feel like the plan itself was wrong, more like we had to do something else first? No, that wasn't quite right either. We had to go somewhere else first? Yes, that felt right. But where else did we have to go? I scanned the map, my eyes eventually landing on a town in the suburbs. Why? Why did I have such a strong feeling that we had to go here before anywhere else? I sighed. Even though I didn't know the reason, I knew this is where we had to go first. Now I just had to convince Hotaru of that.

"Hotaru," I said, pointing at the town, "We need to go here first."

Hotaru looked at where I was pointing on the map and then back up at me.

"Baka, why would we go there? We need to go to the academy. This town isn't even on our way, we would have to take a completely different route and then take a taxi to get there. What is going through that head of yours?" She asked, obviously shocked even though her stoic face revealed nothing.

"No, Hotaru, we need to go here. I-I don't really understand it either, but something is telling me this place is definitely the place we have to go first," I declared, shaking my head at her.

"Do you realize that if we take a taxi out there we won't have any money to spend on a place to stay for the night? The little money we have left we'll have to spend on food and water. If you're wrong about this then we could end up in a lot of trouble!"

I hesitated. What if I was wrong and Hotaru was right? It could be really bad for us. Even if we found something there, that didn't guarantee it would be something that would save us from having to spend a night out on the streets. As I looked at the town on the map again, the feeling we needed to go there came back stronger then ever. I looked up at Hotaru, who was continuing to stare at me like I was crazy. Who knows, maybe I was.

I just looked at her, willing her to understand that I couldn't put the reason into words. Somehow I just knew.

"If you're wrong about this and I have to spend the night in somewhere other than a bed or futon then I will kill you, you understand?" She said, giving in.

It wasn't like Hotaru to give in this easily, but I didn't question it. I was just glad she had finally agreed. I saw Hotaru pull out what looked like a train schedule from the same pocket she got the map, and started reading it.

"The train we need to take leaves in about ten minutes, so we need to go ahead and find the platform," she told me, not looking up from the schedule.

"Okay," I replied, putting my crimson stone back into it's home around my neck. She grunted and put the map and schedule back in her bag pocket.

"You better be sure you know what you're doing, Mikan," Hotaru threatened.

I gave her a sheepish smile. Honestly, I wish I could say I did.

[NatsumeXMikan]

"Now what, exactly, are we supposed to do, Mikan?" Hotaru asked as we stepped out of the cab and onto a crowded street.

"Um, no idea?" I replied, giving a nervous laugh.

Hotaru glared daggers at me, not the least bit happy with either our current situation or me, who was the cause the current situation.

"Well, tell your instincts, or whatever told you it was good idea to come here, to get it in gear," Hotaru practically growled at me.

"Well, um, maybe we should just walk around? Maybe somehow we'll find whatever we're supposed to find or something else will happen?"

I hope that works... it's late morning right now so we have some time to look before night, but really, where were we supposed to begin looking? I dragged us here, but I didn't have the slightest clue what we were looking for, let alone how to find it. Oh Hotaru is going to kill me if I don't figure something out!

"I don't know how I let this happen, I let your bakaness affect me," she grumbled, starting to walk down the street.

We walked down the street, looking at shops and building we passed by. Hotaru's mood got worse and worse as the sun slowly crawled through the sky. I could see it in the way she kept quickening her pace like she was impatient and how she was now glaring at me more than not.

I looked around desperately for something to distract her or something that would help me figure out what we were doing here. My eyes eventually landed on a small white rabbit that was running into an alley on the other side of the street. Something told me I should follow the white rabbit. I would lose it if I spent any time trying to convince Hotaru to follow me.

"Hotaru I think I just saw something. I'll be right back!" I yelled to her over my shoulder as I sprinted towards the alley. I didn't hear Hotaru respond as I ran into the alley and off the crowded street.

As I got close to the end of the alley, I slowed to a walk, looking for the rabbit I'd seen run in here. The alley was crowded with wooden crates, but there was still enough room for me to maneuver. I smiled when I saw a fluffy, white cotton tail sticking out from behind the last crate. It was quivering. I walked towards it slowly, not wanting to scare it away. When I was a few feet away, I started to make kiss noises, letting it know I was there. I saw the tail jump, and then saw the rabbit's face as it spun around. Why did this rabbit look so familiar to me? Why had I chased the poor little thing into this alley?

I stopped when I was right in front of the space the rabbit was hiding. I crouched down, extending my hand out to the quivering little creature in front of me. The rabbit tentatively sniffed my hand without actually touching it.

"It's alright little Usagi-chan, I wont hurt you," I whispered comfortingly. Where did the name Usagi-chan come from?

I was surprised when the rabbit jumped into my arms, looking up at me. I didn't expect the rabbit to be this friendly. Was it someone's pet? Even if it was, I'm pretty sure rabbits don't just jump into stranger's arms. It stopped shaking. What do I do with the rabbit now?

"Usagi-chan? Usagi-chan, where are you? It's alright now, Usagi-chan, the dog's gone, it won't hurt you," I heard a voice call from behind me.

I stood up and turned around, surprised that there was someone else in the alley with me. There was a blond boy, who looked to be the same age as me, looking at me in surprise.

My head started to hurt as I looked at the boy in front of me. He looked... familiar. Very familiar. His presence felt like it promised felt comfort and understanding? Who was this strange boy? I noticed he was staring at me with the same type of look as I was likely giving him. Wait what had he been calling out before? He'd been calling out for Usagi-chan right? Did that mean this rabbit was his? I felt that strange feeling again, the one where I knew things but had no reason why I knew them. This time the feeling was telling me that I knew this boy and that this rabbit was his. My head throbbed again.

"Usagi-chan is yours, right?" I asked, breaking eye contact with the boy to glance down at the rabbit in my arms.

"Huh? Oh, yes! Usagi-chan has been my friend for a long time. Thank you for finding him for me," he said, smiling at me. I walked forward and handed Usagi-chan to him. He then hugged Usagi-chan to his chest.

"No problem, uh..."

"Ruka, my name is Ruka Nogi."

"It was no problem Ruka-pyon. My name is Mikan Sakura. I was just visiting this town with my friend when I saw Usagi-chan here, running down this alley. What happened to him?" I smiled warmly at him.

"Ruka-pyon?" He asked, looking a bit startled.

I felt a blush creep up my cheeks and my face began to grow hot.

"I-I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me," I apologized. Where in the world had that come from? He must think I'm so weird now.

"No it's fine. It, uh, feels right?" He said, a look of utter confusion coming over his face.

I realized that's why I had called him that; it felt right.

"Excuse me, but do I know you?" We both asked at the same time.

We stared at each other for a moment before we both started laughing.

"Sorry about that, you see I lost my memory, but for some reason you feel very familiar to me," Ruka-pyon said, recovering first.

The laughter died in my throat, as I stared at him, my eyes wide. Did he seriously just say what I thought he said?

"Did you just say you lost your memory, Ruka-pyon?"

"Y-yes is something wrong?" He asked, startled.

"No, not at all. Actually, everything's great," I said, beaming at him.

So he is the reason Hotaru and I had come to this town. There was a nagging feeling in the back of my mind though, saying we weren't quite finished in this town. That there was something else?

"Sorry, I must be confusing you, Ruka-pyon. You see, me and my friend are only in this town because we lost our memory as well. We came here to find something, although at the time we didn't know what exactly, but now I think I just found out we were looking for, you," I said, still grinning. So my instincts weren't wrong after all!

"For me? And both of you lost your memories as well?" Ruka-pyon said, looking like he didn't know how to react.

"Yep. My friend and I lost our memories of the past six years and no one will explain to us the real reason why."

"Well it feels like I definitely know you and for both of us to lose our memories is way to much a coincidence, but we lost our memories of the last eight years."

Hmm, it's weird that it's eight years instead of six but I knew I was right, that Ruka-pyon, Hotaru, and I were all involved in this. Wait did he say we?

"It's not just you who lost his memories, Ruka-pyon?" I asked curiously.

"No, my best friend lost his memories as well," he replied, shaking his head.

"Well... I guess we should all get together? I wonder what Hotaru will think of all this?"

"Hotaru?" Ruka-pyon asked, looking almost a little excited.

"Hotaru is the friend I was talking about, here, come on, she's just over there," I told him, pointing out of the alley towards the spot I left Hotaru.

"Oh, my friend is somewhere over that way too. We can all meet up rather easily then," he said, smiling.

We both exited the alley, and started scanning the crowds. Hotaru should be right over there... Aha! Found her! She didn't look very happy though...

"Ruka-pyon, follow me! I see Hotaru right over there!"

Ruka nodded at me before I dashed off.

"Hotaru! Look who I found!" I called to her excitedly. I felt like Hotaru and Ruka-pyon would get along well.

Hotaru turned her head to look in my direction, several tick marks appearing on her forehead. As I ran towards her, I saw her pull something out of her bag.

Baka, baka, baka.

I saw three things quickly speeding towards me and without thinking my body reacted, somehow dodging the first two things. Unfortunitly I couldn't dodge the third thing, and it hit me, sending me flying backwards.

"Ouch," I groaned, rubbing my head as I sat up. What was that thing she'd used?

"Hey Polka, you shouldn't lie in the middle of the side-walk."

Anyone want to take a wild guess as to who that is? xD

**Anyway so glad I'm done with this chapter, I was rushing a little because it's been so long since I updated. And because it's been so long since I updated I made this chapter almost three times as long as my usual chapter, hope you liked it ;)**

**And for those of you who noticed it, yes I couldn't help but put that matrix reference in there considering what was happening in the chapter :D**

**Anyway please review :)**


	6. Chapter 6

The Future is Always Beginning Now: Chapter 6

_Special Thanx:_

**The Sexy Beast - **My wonderful Beta. You forgot to review though like you promised :'(

**Kylee-Cat - **Yes, I believe it is completely possible to fall in love with a story, I having done it several times myself. Your review made me really happy, I'm feel honored that you seem to think so highly of my story. :)

**My Twin - **Don't forget to sign the review next time, twin. And I'll try to remember to add the bunny in there a few more times just for you ;)

**KawaiiIsa-chan - **Thanx :)

**Emerald325 - **Haha glad I could be of some help then. And you totally guessed it! It IS Koko! See you're not the only one with lame humor. Also I laughed when you said "I like how your story doesn't have that much grammer mistakes". You can probably guess why xD

**Yuri no Kimi -** Natsume and Ruka make everything better :P

**akadabra-kaching - **The grandpa was letting her go because he knew Mikan would never be truly happy if she was forced to stay against her will. He wanted her to stay with him, but he cared more about her happiness, so he let her go. And thanx, I personally thought the nicknames were one of my better ideas :D

**ninghui465 - **lol I love how you started your review with hi. And is my story being interesting a good or a bad thing? The ... makes me kinda nervous O_O

**WitheredWings101 - **Thanx I'm glad you liked it, and look you were right! Look at all the special thanx people! Your smart xD

[NatsumeXMikan]

If you want to win friends, make it a point to remember them. If you remember my name, you pay me a subtle compliment; you indicate that I have made an impression on you. Remember my name and you add to my feeling of importance. -Dale Carnegie

[NatsumeXMikan]

-Recap-

_"Ruka-pyon, follow me! I see Hotaru right over there!"_

_Ruka nodded at me before I dashed off._

_"Hotaru! Look who I found!" I called to her excitedly. I felt like Hotaru and Ruka-pyon would get along well._

_Hotaru turned her head to look in my direction, several tick marks appearing on her forehead. As I ran towards her, I saw her pull something out of her bag._

_Baka, baka, baka._

_I saw three things quickly speeding towards me and without thinking my body reacted, somehow dodging the first two things. Unfortunitly I couldn't dodge the third thing, and it hit me, sending me flying backwards._

_"Ouch," I groaned, rubbing my head as I sat up. What was that thing she'd used?_

_"Hey Polka, you shouldn't lie in the middle of the side-walk."_

-Recap Over-

Before I had even seen the owner of the voice, an irrational surge of anger coursed through me. A response came out of my mouth before I even knew what I was saying.

"Natsume, you pervert! My name is not Polka!" The response was immediate, as if I had said it before, multiple times.

"Hn," was all he said to that, aggravating me further.

I immediately turned my head to the side, seeking the source of the voice that had automatically sent such strong emotions through me. All of those strong emotions weren't just anger either. There was a boy, who looked the same age as me, with raven black hair sitting on the bench next to where I'd fallen. One of the first things I noticed about this boy was how good-looking he was, Ruka-pyon was beautiful like any bishonen, but this guy was on a completely different level! Talk about drop-dead gorgeous. But his eyes were what drew my attention, his crimson eyes.

Those crimson eyes that held a puzzled expression, as if he also wasn't quite sure about what had just happened. His eyes looked so achingly familiar to me, like a safe haven that I had sought refuge in many times before. But how could I feel so strongly for this boy? When I met Ruka-pyon I had felt something similar to this, but what I was feeling now was so much stronger. And while Ruka-pyon brought feelings of comfort and understanding, this boy brought feelings of safety, happiness, warmth, and some other emotions I couldn't quite name... For some reason this boy also reminded me of Nat, with his raven black hair and crimson eyes. No, that didn't seem exactly right; Nat reminded me of this boy.

All at once my head started to hurt. A lot. I winced, breaking the spell that seemed to be holding my brown eyes to his crimson.

Hey, what had he called me? Polka? What in the world did that mean? I felt a surge of irrational anger; how dare he call me that! Why did the name he called me upset me so much? And where the hell had my response come from? Was Natsume this boy's name? It certainly felt right at any rate, but how had I known it?

"Shut up, little girl. You're very annoying for someone I've only just met," the boy said coldly, his eyes narrowing.

I felt a pain in my chest when he said that. Did this boy honestly not feel some of the same things I was feeling? Why was he acting so cold to me?

"Hey, Mikan! Are you alright? Oh, I see you've already met Natsume, the friend I was telling you about," Ruka-pyon said, smiling as he ran over to us.

Oh, so I was right, Natsume was his name. Ruka-pyon held out his hand to me while holding his bunny in the other, and I took it, smiling, thanking him for helping me off the ground. Out of the corner of my eye I thought I saw one of those crimson eyes twitch.

"Thank you so much, Ruka-pyon!" I smiled, and then added bitterly, "And yes, we just met."

"Oi, baka, what's going on?" I heard Hotaru say, coming over to join our little group.

She stopped short, still several feet away from us. I glanced curiously at where she was looking, attempting to ignore the relief I felt when I noticed her eyes were trained on the blue-eyed blond next to me and not on the crimson-eyed boy still sitting on the bench. Gah, what was I thinking? Bad Mikan! I noticed Ruka-pyon had frozen in place as well, his cerulean eyes focused solely on Hotaru. My eyes flickered between them, curious on what was going on between them. Ruka-pyon's eyes held something akin to wonderment, while Hotaru's amethyst eyes stared at him impassively. No, maybe her eyes also contained a little sparkle in them? Or was that just my imagination? I quickly stole a glance at the crimson-eyed Adonis on the bench, whose eyes were fixed inquisitively on Ruka-pyon.

"Ruka, what's going on here?" He asked.

They both jumped a little, almost as if they had forgotten our presence. Ruka-pyon's face became scarlet, staring down at his bunny like it had suddenly become the most interesting thing in the world. Hotaru just quickly looked at me, pretending nothing unusual had just happened between her and the blond haired boy.

"Yes, Mikan, what's going on here? What in the world were you yelling about, and who are these two?" She asked me, an accusatory tone in her voice.

I forced my eyes away from Natsume, silently chiding myself for looking at him in the first place.

"Well, you see, Hotaru, this is Ruka-pyon. We met after I ran off a few minutes ago and guess what? You'll never believe it, Hotaru! Ruka-pyon and his friend lost their memories too! I'm pretty sure they're the whole reason we had to come to this place!" I told her excitedly.

"Really? That's very interesting," Hotaru responded, examining Ruka-pyon and Natsume.

It didn't escape my notice that her eyes only glanced at Natsume briefly, but lingered a little on Ruka-pyon.

"So I assume you're the friend?" She asked, returning her gaze to Natsume.

Natsume just glared at her, not answering. She stared back without blinking.

While they were staring into each other's eyes, it didn't feel anything like what I had just shared with Natsume and Ruka-pyon or what Hotaru had just shared with Ruka-pyon a moment ago. It felt more like a battle of wills, or two predators facing off, trying to see who was superior. The air around me suddenly felt very tense, like there was an electric current.

Ruka-pyon shifted a little next to me, catching my attention. He was staring at the heated battle in front of us, looking very uncomfortable. His cerulean orbs started to wander, looking around. For a distraction, maybe? Something like realization seemed to strike him, his eyes widening a bit in surprise.

"Hey, Natsume, where's Aoi?"

Aoi? Who was that? The name sent another wave of pain through my skull, albeit smaller then the others had been.

Natsume sent one final glare towards Hotaru, before grudgingly looking at Ruka.

"She's in that store over there," He replied, warily eyeing a nearby store.

I glanced at the store and almost giggled a little when I saw it, knowing why he was so wary. The shop's walls, door, and everything you could see of the inside of the shop from its large window were all the same color. Pink.

"She's shopping for clothes," he continued, shrugging as he looked back at Ruka.

"Oh, there she is," Ruka-pyon said, nodding towards the pink store.

I looked at the store again, cringing a little myself as my eyes were hit with an overdose of pink. Coming out of the light pink door was smiling girl, who looked around thirteen or fourteen. She had the same raven black hair and crimson eyes as Natsume. Was she his little sister?

"Hey! Natsume! Ruka! Look at the cute things I found," the girl yelled happily, skipping over to us.

Then her eyes landed on me, and she stopped dead in her tracks. Her eyes grew wide with surprise. The young girl gasped as her hands flew to her mouth, dropping the pink bags. She was close enough to us that I could hear the soft thump the bags made when they hit the earth. Another emotion joined the surprise in her wide, crimson eyes. Fear? What was she so scared of?

"Mikan."

**Okay so this the next one will probably be the last one thats this short length wise, the rest seem to be a lot longer but it's hard to tell. Anyway I hope you enjoyed and please review!**


	7. Chapter 7

The Future Is Always Beginning Now: Chapter 7

**I'm combining what I had planned to be Chapter 7 and Chapter 8 into just Chapter 7 so if the rest goes according to plan this story should be 16 chapters long. I combined the 2 chapters cuse I felt Chapter 7 and Chapter 8 would be just a touch to small for me to want them out as different chapters. So yeah. Enjoy :D**

**WARNING: This chapter gets very depressing. You might want to skip some things near the end of the chapter if you don't like sad things.**

_Special Thanx:_

**Lliasa - **My insane Beta... who left... interesting reviews... yeah... maybe I should call the Happy Farm? She just changed her name from The Sexy Beast because she just posted her first fic. It's an Hetalia fic.

**WitheredWings101 - **You're smarticle xD

**z - **I'm really glad you like it so much :)

**xSapphirexRosesxFanx - **Friendship, love, and in Natsume and Hotaru's case, rivalry xD

**Kylee-Cat -** Stop it, you're making me blush :3

**Yuri no Kimi -** You'll have to find the answer to your question in this chapter ;)

**akadabra-kaching - **more or less, but like I told Yuri no Kimi, you'll just have to find out my reading this chapter ;)

**The Twin -** I put one scene is here just for you, you'll recognize it when you see it. Unfortunitly it's small but it's the best I could do considering the contents of this chapter. Natsume and Hotaru are just too alike for their own good, and they both want to monopolize Mikan. xD

[NatsumeXMikan]

Lulled in the countless chambers of the brain, our thoughts are linked by many a hidden chain; awake but one, and in, what myriads rise!

-Alexander Pope

[NatsumeXMikan]

-Recap-

_"She's shopping for clothes," he continued, shrugging as he looked back at Ruka._

_"Oh, there she is," Ruka-pyon said, nodding towards the pink store._

_I looked at the store again, cringing a little myself as my eyes were hit with an overdose of pink. Coming out of the light pink door was smiling girl, who looked around thirteen or fourteen. She had the same raven black hair and crimson eyes as Natsume. Was she his little sister?_

_"Hey! Natsume! Ruka! Look at the cute things I found," the girl yelled happily, skipping over to us._

_Then her eyes landed on me, and she stopped dead in her tracks. Her eyes grew wide with surprise. The young girl gasped as her hands flew to her mouth, dropping the pink bags. She was close enough to us that I could hear the soft thump the bags made when they hit the earth. Another emotion joined the surprise in her wide, crimson eyes. Fear? What was she so scared of?_

_"Mikan."_

-Recap Over-

Did that girl just say my name? I couldn't remember Ruka-pyon mentioning anyone besides himself and Natsume that had lost their memories... Did that mean this girl knew what was going on? Or was it just that we had met during the time I can't remember? I glanced at the others, wondering what their reactions were. Ruka-pyon's eyes were wide with surprise, Hotaru's were just narrowed a bit, and Natsume's held confusion. So no one else knew exactly what to make of this new development either, then?

I looked back at the girl, causing something, a memory, or maybe a thought, to float through my mind. It was like a ghost, teasing me, coming close enough to touch and then withdrawing before I could grab hold of it. I stared at the girl, trying to trigger something that would allow me to finally grab it. Aoi. Natsume's younger sister. What was it? All of a sudden, my eyes were met with her crimson eyes. This was the trigger I'd been searching for.

A small wave of pain flashed through my mind, along with an image. Darkness? It looked like a body of darkness with a white half-mask. The figure's shadowy lips seemed to grin almost mockingly.

The pain was gone, along with the image, as quickly has they had come, only to be replaced by fear, raw fear. No. NO! I had to get away! Quickly! I had to run or-

And the fear vanished from my body, leaving only confusion as I tried to figure out what the hell had just happened.

The girl's face was suddenly replaced with the smile she had been wearing out of the store a few seconds ago. The smile looked slightly forced to me, though. She dropped her hands and picked up her pink bags, starting to skip towards us again. She reached us a moment later, holding up the pink bags to Natsume and Ruka.

"See, look at all the cool stuff I got!" She exclaimed excitedly.

Whoa, what in the world? Was this girl bipolar or something? But either way, I know what I heard. How did this girl know me?

"Um, excuse me. Aoi, was it? How did you know my name?" I asked.

She just blinked, as if she had no idea what I was talking about.

"Ne, Natsume, who is this girl? Is she a friend of yours?" She asked Natsume.

"No," He replied, looking at her accusingly.

I tried to ignore the sting I felt at his answer. Natsume was right, we couldn't even remember each other after all and it's not like we had a fantastic start. Anyway I suppose if I could clearly see that this girl was hiding something. It must completely obvious to her older brother, assuming I was right and they were siblings. Crimson eyes were not your everyday eye color, so siblings seemed the most logical choice. It also just felt right.

"Oh, okay then. Hi there, my name is Aoi. I'm Natsume's little sister. Who are you?" She asked innocently, glancing from me to Hotaru.

"I'm Hotaru Imai," Hotaru said, still watching Aoi through her narrowed amethyst eyes.

Aoi was ignoring all of the accusative stares, looking at me expectantly. Didn't she already know my name though? Hadn't she just said it? Why was she acting like she hadn't said anything?

"M-my name's Mikan Sakura, nice to meet you..." I trailed off uncertainly. Was this really the first time we've met?

"Aoi, what was that all about? Didn't you just say Mikan's name?" Ruka-pyon asked her.

"Hm? No, I've never met Mikan-chan before," She replied innocently, not seeming to realize what she'd just called me.

"Anyway would you both like to join us for dinner? Since you traveled all the way to this town in the suburbs, you probably don't have a lot of money left. And I'm sure my dad will let you stay the night, too," she said, smiling.

I looked at Hotaru and saw her nod at me. Well I guess this solved our food and shelter problem, at least for tonight.

"Sure, that would be great. Thanks, Aoi," I replied, smiling.

"Great! Our house is this way! Follow me!" Aoi yelled, skipping off.

Natsume rolled his eyes before getting up to follow her. I felt my heart skip a beat when he glanced at me, then walked after her. Ruka, still holding his bunny, followed Natsume. Hotaru and I just continued to stand there for a moment.

"Ne, Hotaru? How did Aoi know we traveled a lot?" I asked, watching Natsume hit Aoi's head lightly as she beamed at him, still skipping.

"I don't know, but I intend to find out," she replied.

[NatsumeXMikan]

Aoi led us up a hill to a house at the top. My first impression of it was that it looked rather normal, if not a bit small. There was a man in front of the house with his back to us, holding a watering can as he watered a flowerbed next to the house's wall.

"Hey, Dad! I brought some guests home for dinner!" Aoi called to the man, waving.

The man stopped watering the flowers and turned around, a large smile plastered on his face. He waved back at Aoi. So he's their father? He didn't look a lot like Natsume or Aoi, so maybe they just got their looks from their mother.

"Welcome back, you three. How was your shopping trip?" He yelled.

Suddenly his eyes landed on me. Was it normal for faces to become that pale? The man looked like he had seen a ghost.

Natsume, who was still a few feet in front of me, paused for a second. His eyes narrowed as he looked at his father's face. I take it this wasn't the usual welcome. What was it that made both Natsume's sister and father react like that? I looked at his father again and saw him shoot a questioning look at Aoi. When Aoi reached her father I saw her shake her head a little. He hesitated a moment more before looking back to us, his face returning to a normal color and a grin back on his face. What were he and Aoi hiding? We all reached the house, stopping in front of the man.

"Welcome to our home, ladies. I'm Natsume and Aoi's father. I know our house isn't exactly grand, but please make yourselves comfortable while I go and make dinner," He said, still smiling.

"Oh, thank you very much, sir," I replied politely.

He just nodded and headed inside. After a moment of awkward silence, we all followed.

[NatsumeXMikan]

Dinner was delicious. We all ate the food, talking about trivial things. No one brought up why we were here, or anything else having to do with our memory loss. Mr. Hyuuga told us a few fun stories, the weirdest one having to do with a flower that had just died. Apparently it had been beautiful and alive a lot longer then it should've been, but suddenly the other day it just withered and died. The story sounded vaguely familiar but I ignored the feeling, knowing that that was impossible. After we finished dinner, Mr. Hyuuga disappeared again into the kitchen, claiming he would be out in a few minutes with dessert.

"I have to go make a phone call, I'll be right back," Aoi told us cheerfully, standing up from her chair and walking out of the room. She looked a little tense, or was that just my imagination?

I looked at Natsume, trying to see if he noticed Aoi looking tense. My heart wasn't prepared for him to be watching me. I held his crimson gaze for a moment before I looked down at my lap, my face hot. What in world...?

I looked over to Hotaru, who was watching something on the floor. I shifted my gaze, following hers. I saw Ruka sitting on the floor, holding a carrot out to Usagi-chan. Usagi-chan's nose twitched, hopping forward to take a bite of the carrot. I watched it eat the entire carrot from Ruka's hand, not daring to see if Natsume was still looking at me.

Mr. Hyuuga came out right as Usagi-chan took the last bite of the carrot. He was carrying plates of what looked like chocolate cake. The cake looked incredible. Mr. Hyuuga put a piece in front of Hotaru, Natsume, and me before going back into the kitchen to get the rest of the pieces. I noticed Aoi still wasn't back.

"Hey, I'm going to go get Aoi. She wouldn't want to miss this. Something tells me that she's the type that loves sweets," I said before quickly getting up and following where she had left the room earlier.

I walked down the hallway, looking for Aoi, when I heard her voice from around the corner. Was Aoi still on the phone? Should I go back and eat my cake, or should I wait for her to finish? Still undecided, I stopped, still out of her sight. I was about to go back and eat my cake when I accidentally heard part of Aoi's conversation. What I heard made me stop in my tracks and made my blood freeze.

"So what do I do? Mikan-chan and Hotaru are both in the kitchen with Natsume and Ruka! I asked them to come here because I know they traveled a long way from where they live and probably don't have enough money for a hotel, but what if something happens? What if something triggers their memories?" I heard Aoi say frantically.

There was a pause as the person on the other end of the line replied. Who exactly was Aoi talking to about our memory loss?

"Who are you sending? Wouldn't Koko be better, so that he could read their minds? Oh, he's on another mission with Sumire? So when are they going to be here?"

Pause.

"What should I do until then, keep them as separate as possible?"

Another pause.

"But what if-"

Yet another pause.

"Okay, Yuka, I understand. Bye," Aoi said. I heard her put the phone down. I heard her sigh.

I may have heard the sounds, but they didn't mean anything to me. I couldn't even tell if my brain was in overdrive or frozen as it tried to process everything.

What just happened? Who was Yuka? Yuka. Why did that name sound so familiar? Koko and Sumire. They also sounded somewhat familiar. So people were coming? Who? Who was coming? Why were they coming? What just happened?

I didn't even notice Aoi had turned the corner until I was looking right at her. She looked at me, wide eyed with shock. I'm sure my expression mirrored hers. She must have gotten the ability to turn an unnatural pale from her father. It was such an odd color for a face to turn. We just continued to stare at each other. I wonder who was in more shock?

"Oi, stop staring at each other like a couple of dolls! What's taking so long?" Came a voice and footsteps from behind me.

Natsume. That was Natsume's voice. What was he doing here? What was going on?

It was only then that I became suddenly aware of how much my head was hurting. The pain caused my knees to buckle underneath me. I fell to the floor. I squeezed my eyes shut, holding my head in my hands, wishing the pain would stop. Why wouldn't it stop?

"Oi! Little girl! What's wrong?" I heard Natsume say.

I opened my eyes enough to see Natsume crouching down in front of me, looking worried. Worried? For me? I felt his hands grab my shoulders, shaking me slightly. With him this close to me, I noticed something I hadn't before. Around Natsume's neck was a chain, much like the one I'd spotted on Hotaru's neck last night. But instead of Hotaru's white stone, Natsume's necklace sported a light orange stone. Something about the orange stone called to me. I reached one of my hands out, slowly reaching towards the stone. I saw Natsume flinch, probably not sure what I was doing, but then immediately relax. It was almost like Natsume's instinct told him that people suddenly reaching out towards your chest was dangerous, so why had he relaxed so quickly? The amount of time between the flinch and the relaxation was too short for his brain to have fought the instinct. It didn't matter, anyway. All that mattered now was the light orange stone, which was now not even an inch from my fingertips. It was like I was under some kind of spell.

Finally my fingertips touched the strangely smooth stone, and then froze. Something was wrong. I was scared. My head tilted up and my eyes sought crimson ones, my body acting all on its own. He looked back at me, his eyes panicked and desperate.

"Natsume?" I asked. I wanted to ask him why he was looking at me like that and why he cared about me so much, but my lips froze just like my fingertips on the stone. Memories were teasing me again, several of them. Just like last time they were swimming through my thoughts, close enough to touch but when I grabbed for them they slipped away. My whole body seemed to lock down, and it took a minute for my brain to process what my body already had.

Pain.

Searing, agonizing pain ripped through my head. I tried to scream, but my mouth refused to open. And suddenly it was like I was trapped inside my own head, my eyes no longer seeing what was actually in front of me. The memories were attacking me, demanding that I remember them.

And remember I did.

_-Flashbacks-_

_I was in a hospital, looking through a pane of glass at something on the other side. I saw a bed and a bunch of machines. It took me a minute to realize there was a person in the bed, buried under all the machines. It was a boy with blond hair, his eyes closed as he slept. I felt something move in my arms, so I looked down and saw a teddy bear. The teddy bear was also looking through the pane of glass to the person inside. I looked up again at the boy, or at least what little I could see of him under all the machines, and I felt myself start to cry. I knew that those machines had a reason for being there. They were what was keeping the boy inside the room alive. I could see the boy's breath in a machine mask placed over his mouth and nose. Without that machine the boy couldn't breathe. A bunch of wires that came out from under covers were attached to a monitor with a red number and a red line that kept spiking at a regular beat. That machine was to monitor the boy's heart, to alert the doctors if his heart started to fail or he had a seizure. I saw a tube leading into the boy's arm, attached to something that looked like a stand where several bags of different kinds of liquids were hanging. That IV Drip was the only way the boy could now receive the needed nutrients that most people get from food, and it was the only reason the boy wasn't severely dehydrated, no longer having enough strength to drink water himself. The IV Drip was also one of the many ways the doctors were administering the boy's medicine. His body was pumped full of all sorts of drugs, but those drugs were keeping him from the pain his body was currently in, and they were keeping him alive._

_I turned the bear in my arms around and hugged him to me. The tears that had threatened earlier were now overflowing. I wasn't crying for myself. I was crying for the bear in my arms who wasn't capable of it, and for the boy in the room, who would never cry, not because he couldn't but because he didn't want the people who cared for him to see just how pain he was really in or just how scared he was._

_"It'll be okay, Mr. Bear. Kaname's strong, he'll pull through this," I murmured between sobs._

_We both knew I was lying. All the machines and all the drugs were keeping him in this world a little longer, but there was nothing the doctors could do to actually cure him._

_Someday soon his breathing would become so bad the not even the machine could help._

_Someday soon he would have a seizure or heart failure that the doctors couldn't bring him back from._

_Someday soon his body would stop accepting all the drugs and other liquids, no longer able to accept them._

_Someday soon he was going to die._

_I felt the bear in my arms tremble as my tears continued to flow._

_[NatsumeXMikan]_

_The floor under my feet gave way, sending me spiraling downwards. I accidentally let go of what was in my arms, grabbing hold of a bit of floor that hadn't given way yet. My friend's all called out my name. I looked down. I had to find what I'd dropped earlier!_

_"Pengy!" I yelled, seeing him holding on to another ledge of floor that was just below me._

_Ruka-pyon called out my name again, telling me to grab on as he reached me, helping me up._

_"W-wait! Over there...! Pengy's-!" I tried to tell Ruka-pyon. I couldn't leave without Pengy!_

_Tsubasa-sempai told Ruka-pyon and Natsume to hold open our only way out of here._

_"Tsubasa-sempai!" I shouted, surprised as he took Ruka-pyon's place beside me._

_"'Cause right now you won't leave here no matter what I say. I'll climb down there somehow and get Pengy out, so you go back over there," he explained._

_As I started to protest, some of the ceiling above us collapsed, sending a shower of ruble down on us._

_"Look out!" Tsubasa-sempai shouted at me, hovering over me, shielding me._

_Tsubasa-sempai was hurt, badly. He shouted at the others to go ahead and leave, that it was too dangerous. What do I do?_

_"Mikan, I've got you. Can you stretch down there and pull Pengy out?" He asked._

_"I'll try!" I responded, uncertain but determined._

_The whole place shook again. The quakes are stronger than they were just a minute ago!_

_"Pengy... Can you reach me?" I asked Pengy, lowering my hand down to him._

_The place where we're standing could crumble any second! I'm scared! But I had to help Pengy!_

_"I won't let go no matter what. So reach out and take my hand, Pengy!" I shouted desperately._

_I could hear Ruka-pyon shout something at us, but blocked it out, my single focus being to reach Pengy. I let out a scream as some of the floor beneath me crumbled away, lurching me forward. Tsubasa held on to me, not letting me fall. Pain laced through my arm as one of the falling rocks smashed into it. Tsubasa asked if it was okay. I didn't bother to answer, I only yelled for Pengy to hold on._

_"We're gonna lower my coat to you, so grab on to it... Pengy?" I heard Tsubasa-sempai shout._

_I opened my eyes and looked at Pengy. There were tears in his eyes, but... Why was Pengy smiling?_

_I couldn't, no, wouldn't believe what I was seeing. Pengy let go of the ledge, his small body falling into the darkness until I could no longer see it._

_"PENGY!" I shouted._

_No. No! NO! This couldn't be happening! I couldn't go down and save Pengy, Tsubasa-sempai was forcing me towards the portal as more of the ceiling fell down around us. I just clutched to him, crying, as we stepped into the portal. There was a bright light, and then everything went black._

___[NatsumeXMikan]_

_I was running from something, something bad had just happened._

_"You guys can't be serious!" I heard a familiar voice shout._

_I stopped running, coming across a group of people gathered in front of me._

_"That girl is definitely an idiot, but she's not so big an idiot that she'd mess with a life and death matter just to stand out and be a bother to people!" I heard the same voice shout._

_Permy? I could see the dark green permed hair from where I was standing._

_"That's not it! Where did that poisonous Koizumi fungus go? Say something, Natsume! Give those guys in the Koizumi clique a piece of your mind!" Perm shouted angrily._

_Now I noticed that in the middle of the group was a bench, which was currently being occupied by a certain crimson-eyed boy. I also saw Ruka-pyon standing behind him. I noticed Nonoko and Anna standing in the group as well, their bubblegum pink and blue hair hard to miss. Natsume just sat there for a moment, not saying anything. Then he finally spoke, and I wished he hadn't._

_"I won't concern myself with Sakura Mikan anymore. Neither will I with her story. If there are any of you who oppose me in this then get out of my sight this instant. She is not worth your protection," He said coldly._

_Natsume had noticed me, had said those things while looking at me with cold, crimson eyes. I stood there for a moment, thinking, wishing I'd misheard him. That Natsume of all people hadn't uttered those cruel words. A lot of people, including Ruka-pyon, Nonoko, Anna, and Permy, looked shocked like they thought the same thing._

_"Natsume... What are you saying?" Ruka-pyon asked, horrified._

_"You heard me. Get lost. You are an eye sore," He said, this time aiming the words directly at me._

_The others noticed me now, staring at me with horrified expressions. Well, most people did. I noticed Koizumi and a few of the kids around her were smirking._

_What was Natsume saying? Why was my chest hurting so much? I couldn't understand what just happened, this didn't make any sense at all. I couldn't take it anymore. I turned my back and ran as fast as my legs could take me. I heard my friends calling out my name, but I didn't stop. I just continued to run through the trees, not exactly sure what I was hoping to accomplish, just knowing I had to get as far away as possible from the Natsume that would tell me such cruel things._

_I'm gonna cry. This kind of thing is the worst. I don't understand why... Damnit Natsume! When I cursed him my tears started to flow. My only thought, 'Why? Why him?'_

_My heart felt like it was breaking._

___[NatsumeXMikan]_

_It was raining. I stood in it, feeling neither the drops against my skin nor the cold wind. Actually I wasn't feeling much at all. I felt completely numb. I felt nothing. I knew my eyes were red and swollen. I'd cried a lot. It was like crying had worn me out so much that I was now to tired to feel any emotion or touch. Almost everyone else had gone inside by now. The only ones who were out here now besides me were Tsubasa-sempai, Misaki-sempai, and Natsume._

_I stared down at the grave in front of me. The tombstone said, 'Kaname, who brought life to many'._

_We'd all known it was going to happen, but somehow that didn't make the pain any better._

_Mr. Bear was sitting lifelessly on the ground in front of the grave, the rain sliding harmlessly off his slicker. He hadn't moved at all since they buried Kaname many hours ago._

_Tsubasa-sempai was crumpled on the ground, his face hidden in Misaki-sempai's stomach. Misaki-sempai kneeled there, holding him to her, biting her lip as she tried to fight her own tears. I know that this had to be hard for them; they were the people closest to Kaname._

_I knew Natsume wasn't here out of grief for Kaname. He was here for me. I couldn't see him, but I could feel his eyes on me. He was behind me, just under the shelter of the trees. He didn't dare approach after I'd yelled at him earlier, wrongly taking out my frustration for Kaname's death out on him. I knew I should apologize to him, this wasn't his fault, but somehow I just couldn't. It was too much effort. It was so much easier to continue to stand here, numb to the world._

_I thought how appropriate the cliché of a funeral in the rain was. It was like the rain was crying because now I was the one who couldn't._

_[NatsumeXMikan]_

_Natsume and I were returning from our mission, jumping from tree to tree. I felt my heart stop when Natsume did, leaning against the trunk of the tree branch he was standing on. If Natsume stopped then something must be very wrong. I jumped to his side, watching him anxiously. I didn't comment, he wouldn't want me too. He was pale, his breathing hard and shallow. I knew what was happening, just as I knew there wasn't anything I could do but be next to him. He would fight going to the hospital, just telling me to give him a second, that it was nothing, that it would pass shortly. I felt so powerless as I watched him, bringing his hand up to his mouth as he tried to hold back a coughing fit. It didn't help. When the fit passed he brought his hand away from his mouth. I knew what was going to be on that hand, I'd been with him through enough of these fits to know, but somehow that didn't stop my heart from shattering each time._

_Scarlet blood covered his hand, a bit more then usual. He wobbled, I caught him. I nearly cried out as he mumbled an apology before collapsing. I sat down on the branch, laying Natsume down, his head in my lap. I looked down at his unconscious face that was still scrunched up in pain._

_I cried. I only cried now when I was alone, or in cases like this, I was the only one conscious. Natsume hated it when I cried, knowing that usually he was the one who caused it. Even though I never cried in front of him anymore, somehow he still always knew._

_The fits were getting worse, his condition moving to the next stage. He refused to stop taking missions, no matter how many times I pleaded for him too. And it was slowly but surely killing him._

_I realized a few months after Kaname's funeral that I hadn't only cried because he'd died, I'd also cried because I'd seen Natsume's future. Unless something changed, I would someday soon be standing in front of his grave. The very thought of Natsume's grave sent a great wave of pain through my entire system._

_It was killing me too, watching him have these fits, getting worse and worse, slowly dying in front of me, knowing that there was nothing I could do._

___[NatsumeXMikan]_

_____There were cuts and bruises all over my body, I'm pretty sure I had a broken arm as well. What happened? Where was I? I looked around me and saw bodies, lots of bodies. I was confused for a moment, what I was seeing now computing in my brain. Then something in my mind clicked. The battle. I was in a battle... and then? What? What had happened? I couldn't remember anything._

_-Flashback Within The Flashback-_

_When I got here, the battle had been in full swing. Alices were fighting alices, people dying everywhere. My target was Persona, seeing as I was the only one who stood a chance against him. I mentally kicked myself for not being here sooner; not knowing how many people Persona had managed to kill in that time. How many of those people could I have saved? My eyes searched among all the chaos, searching for my target. I found him._

_I raced over noticing the blackened bodies I had to avoid stepping on. I felt a surge of anger. I raced forward._

_Persona's back was turned to me, not even aware of my presence yet. I heard his insane laughter as he threw two more blackened bodies to the ground. It was over before he even knew what had happened, a knife now protruding from his back. Despite how angry I was with him, I couldn't help but feel a lot of pity for him. He'd been an innocent kid once, but the people after his alice were not kind. They mentally twisted the young boy into what most people call a monster. And the thing that sent him over the edge of insanity..._

_I shook my head to clear my thoughts. Persona was now gone but that didn't mean the battle still wasn't over. I glanced at the two blackened bodies I'd just seen Persona throw to the floor. If I had just gotten here a few moments earlier..._

_I let lose a cry as I realized I knew whom the two blackened bodies belonged to. Their facial features were impossible recognize through the heavy black staining, but I didn't need them to know who these two were. _

_I stared at their hair. One had bubblegum pink, the other dark blue._

_My world went black._

_-Flashback Within The Flashback Over-_

_That's right... The last thing I remember... Anna... Nonoko..._

_Where were they? They weren't in front of me, like when I'd blacked out._

_The sound of people whispering made me snap my head up. A group of Gakuen Alice kids that were in the battle were whispering to each other, staring at me. They looked scared. No, they looked terrified._

_I stood up, about to ask them what was wrong._

_"Stay away from us! You're a monster!" I heard one shout._

_I didn't get it. Why was I a monster? Why did they look so terrified of me? I looked around the clearing again. There was at least double the amount of bodies now as there had been when I killed Persona..._

_The new bodies were cut, slashed, and mangled. It looked like they had been dead but someone had continued to attack them. I looked at the other kids again, taking in their petrified looks and their words a few moments ago._

_Sudden realization dawned on me._

_I looked down at my hands._

_They were scarlet with blood._

_I screamed._

_-Flashbacks Over-_

I curled myself into fetal position. It felt like I was sinking, sinking into the darkness, into nothing. I welcomed it, hoping these memories, thoughts, emotions, and pain would become nothing as well.

Before the nothingness took over me completely, I felt a warm body holding mine, and a voice, Natsume's, calling out my name. My real name.

Then I felt nothing.

**Wow okay... um I thing I probably could've just kept this as 2 seperate chapters... They looked shorter on my plan then they did when I actually wrote them out... I think this might be the longest chapter I've ever written for anything. Anyway I know this chapter had a lot of incredibly depressing parts but... well I won't spoil but I swear the worst is over, in fact I don't think there will be many more sad moments in this story. I actually usually hate tragedy and other sad stuff but in this case I needed to include it for my plot.**

**Oh I'm really interested since this is my first time writing tragic stuff but which flashback did you find the saddest?**

**Oh and I know it's been 2 weeks since the last update but a few things happened and well you guys don't care right? Not after this length of chapter right? Was it well worth the wait?**

**Did any of you guys read the most recent Gakuen Alice chapter of Mangafox? I won't spoil but I have to say it was the best chapter I've seen in a long time! So much awesome stuff happened! If anyone wants to chat about it then please feel free to PM me! I also have some predictions about up coming events so if any one wants to hear or discuss then feel free as well :)**

**Anyway please review! I deserve it after this, don't you think? ;)**


	8. Chapter 8

The Future Is Always Beginning Now: Chapter 8

**This time it wasn't completely my fault that I didn't update for over 2 weeks! My beta was in Japan, yes Japan (still upset she couldn't take me with her!), and I couldn't text her let alone send her an email for her to beta this chapter. I was going to post without it getting beta-ed but I just couldn't, I don't to put something of poor quality up anymore. So yeah I hope you enjoy this chapter, I know it's been awhile.**

_Special Thanx:_

**Yuri no Kimi - **Yeah Mikan only remembered the scenes I described which will be a big part in either the next chapter or the one after that. Sorry my updates are so slow... I just get into phases of things (like I just left one of my many one piece phases) where I just get absorbed in one thing for a while. Anyway I don't ever read raws just cus I get really irritated that I can't understand, but it doesn't matter cuse 135 came out during the time I didn't update xD

**akadabra-kaching - **I'm not answering that question :P

**xSapphirexRosesxFanx - **yeah i almost felt bad for mikan while writing this cuse I was making her go thru so much bad stuff but it needed to be done :)

**Lliasa - **My dear beta... I always look forward to those reviews of yours cuse they're always so crazy xD

**Falling-Angel99 - **thanx and yeah I will even though at times the updates might be a little slow... :(

**Kylee-Cat - **I'm still really happy you like it so much and yeah my beta said that was the saddest one for her too altho its not mine

**Rigoudon3 - **Thanx and it's because i'm a sadist xD

**Twin dear - **lol yes put that particular scene in just for you, and the carrot cake im makin tomorrow will b a lot better cuse it will b real :P

[NatsumeXMikan]

The palest ink lasts longer than the most retentive memory. -Chinese Proverb

[NatsumeXMikan]

-Recap-

_I curled myself into fetal position. It felt like I was sinking, sinking into the darkness, into nothing. I welcomed it, hoping these memories, thoughts, emotions, and pain would become nothing as well._

_Before the nothingness took over me completely, I felt a warm body holding mine, and a voice, Natsume's, calling out my name. My real name._

_Then I felt nothing._

-Recap Over-

Natsume's POV:

I saw her knees buckle underneath her. She went down, her eyes squeezed tightly closed and her hands clutching her head.

"Oi! Little girl! What's wrong?" I asked, panic in my voice.

A small part of my brain registered that I wouldn't normally panic, I NEVER panic. The larger part of my brain was doing the panicking, trying to figure out what was wrong with the girl in front of me. I crouched down in front of her, unsure what I should do. Her eyes opened and she looked at me, her beautiful brown orbs widening in shock. She looked like she was in some kind of trance. I grabbed her shoulders and shook her lightly, trying to see if I could somehow bring her out of it. Her eyes moved to my neck and stayed there, staring. What was she looking at?

Her hand came up and started to slowly reach towards my neck. I flinched. There was a shadow in the back of my mind, a feeling that someone had reached for my neck before and the results hadn't been good. If I hadn't known whom this hand belonged to, I have no doubt that I would've jerked away completely. As it was, I did know, and somehow the knowledge calmed me. As long as it was this girl I would be fine, she would never hurt me, and even if she did, I would accept it fully. I felt my body relax.

As her fingers drew closer to my neck I realized what she was reaching for. My necklace. Finally, her fingers came in contact with the stone around my neck, so light I could hardly feel the added pressure. Her fingers froze. Something was wrong. She looked at me, our eyes meeting again.

"Natsume?" She asked.

She looked like she wanted to ask more but couldn't. I felt her muscles lock down under my hands, her whole body tensed. I stared at her eyes, eyes that stared into nothingness. It was like she wasn't seeing anything anymore, like she wasn't even here.

She lay limp as I pulled her into my arms, cradling her body to mine. What was happening to her?

"Mikan!" I heard Aoi whisper, horrified.

I felt anger flare up inside me. What had Aoi done to her? I knew that I would have to push that matter aside for later. Mikan needed help right now.

"Aoi! Go get Ruka and that other girl! Get Dad too!" I shouted at her, trying to get her to hurry.

She nodded before running off. I held Mikan closer to me as the sound of Aoi's footsteps faded. Her eyes stared at me blankly. A wave of dread washed over me as I stared into her vacant eyes.

I started to shake her again. At first nothing happened. There was no reaction at all, but then her eyes started drifting shut.

"Mikan! Oi! Mikan!" I shouted, alarmed.

Just as her eyes shut completely I heard several pairs of running feet coming closer. Good.

Without waiting for them to reach me I stood up, continuing to carry Mikan in my arms.

"Natsume, what are you doing?" I heard my Dad ask from behind me.

"I'm taking her to my room so she can use my bed," I replied, starting to walk towards my room.

I looked down at the sleeping girl in my arms. Was she okay now? She looked so peaceful now, like she was just sleeping, like nothing had just happened. I couldn't help thinking that the girl in my arms looked a lot like an angel.

I saw Ruka rush past me, opening the door to my room. I nodded my thanks as I entered my room, making my way towards the bed on the other side. I gently lay Mikan on my bed, and then tucked a lock of golden brown hair behind her ear.

I tore my gaze away from her sleeping face as I turned around, facing the other people who had filed into the room after me.

My dad nodded at me then motioned for me to move aside so he could examine her. I hesitated, not wanting to leave her side, but grudgingly moved, knowing it was what would be best for Mikan. I went over to stand next to Ruka, who I noticed was standing a little close to the Imai girl. I saw Aoi standing in the doorway, her face still pale. After a few moments of complete silence passed, my dad turned around to face us.

"I'm not exactly sure what happened to her, but everything seems to be fine now. She's sleeping," he said with a small smile.

He left the room, Aoi moving to let him pass. Then she followed, glancing worriedly at Mikan before closing the door behind her.

"What does that mean? What happened to her?" I shouted, suddenly angry.

My questions were directed towards Mikan's friend. She should know why this was happening, right? Then why wasn't she doing anything?

"I don't know!" She shouted back, obviously just as angry as I was that she didn't know what was happening to Mikan.

I was about to fire another angry remark at her when Mikan let out a few whimpers. We both shut up immediately and turned our attention to the girl passed out on my bed.

Mikan no longer had a peaceful expression on her face. She was still sleeping but her eyes were flicking violently under her eyelids and her face was screwed up in an expression of pain.

I didn't even realize I was holding my breath until her face relaxed again and I exhaled in relief.

"So Natsume, what exactly happened to her?" Ruka asked me quickly, probably trying to prevent me and the weird girl from shouting at each other again.

I paused for a second, not quite sure how to answer his question.

"I don't really know. I went to find her because I didn't want her wandering around my house," I lied. There was no way I was going to admit that I was worried about the bubbly girl. "I found her and Aoi in the hallway. They were just staring at each other. Then suddenly the little girl just collapsed on the ground."

"Is that when she became like this?" The Imai girl asked me, her eyes glaring at me like somehow this was all my fault.

"Did I say thats when she fell unconcious?" I snapped at her.

We started glaring at each other again. I REALLY didn't like this girl. Ruka nervously cleared his throat.

"So, uh, how did she fall unconscious then?" He asked me.

I sent one more glare in that purple-eyed girl's direction before turning my attention to Ruka.

"She started clutching her head like it was really hurting her. She only blacked out after she touched my stone."

"Stone? What stone?" The annoying girl cut in quickly.

I glared at her. I didn't have any obligation to answer her questions, and I didn't want her of all people to know about my stone. Ruka was a bit nicer then me, unfortunately.

"This stone," he said, unhooking his necklace and showing it to the Imai girl. "Although Natsume's is a little different then mine. His is a light orange, unlike my purple one."

Hotaru stared at the purple stone Ruka was holding out for a moment before she brought her own hands behind her neck and started fumbling with something. There was a small click and then she held out her hand, which now contained a necklace with a white stone on it. Ruka and I just stared at it for a moment, not quite sure what to think.

"Natsume, you should show her yours!" Ruka said to me excitedly, looking up from the stone.

I didn't want to, but if Ruka was the one asking...

Grudgingly I took off my necklace as well and showed it to the girl. She reached to take it and I pulled my hand sharply back, warning her with my eyes that I wasn't going to allow her to touch my stone.

She narrowed her amethyst eyes at me before walking over to Mikan's side. She started to mess with a locket Mikan was wearing around her neck. She opened it and shook it a little until a small crimson stone fell into her open palm. I immediately felt a strange attraction to the crimson stone, watching it as the girl carried it over to show Ruka.

We all stared at the four stones before the Imai girl's eyes started flicking back and forth between Ruka and me.

"So, what exactly do the two of you know about a place called Alice Academy? And about what Alices are?" She asked, her eyes still probing both of us.

Ruka stared at her, dumbstruck, while I narrowed my eyes at her. What was this girl's connection to the academy? Was this some sort of trick from the academy? Was this whole thing a set-up?

"Don't worry. Neither Mikan nor myself lied about who we are and what happened to us. If Mikan didn't miss or leave out anything from what Ruka told her then we are probably in the exact same situation. I'm only asking because every piece of information helps," The weird monotonous girl declared.

As much as I hated to admit, even to myself, the Imai girl had a point. And even though I disliked this girl so much, I knew, just knew, she was trustworthy.

"What do you want to know? Natsume and I will answer everything we can if it helps," Ruka said eagerly, too eagerly in my opinion.

"You tell us everything you know in exchange though," I said quickly, before Ruka freely gave her everything we knew.

Something told me that if I didn't make it clear this was an exchange of information then we wouldn't be hearing anything from this girl.

"Of course," she replied.

The girl glared at me as if she knew what I was thinking before training her amethyst eyes back on Ruka.

"How much time is missing from your memory?" She asked.

"The last thing we both remember was eight years ago. It was right after Natsume and his family moved here," Ruka answered immediatly.

"Mikan and I can't remember anything from the last six years. A girl from our class six years ago told Mikan that I had gone to Alice Academy, but both of our memories cut off right before that took place. I analyzed from this that our memory loss has something to do with the academy. Have your families been acting strange?"

"My mom has been way more overprotective then usual **(A/N: Remember how overprotective his mom was before? Well now she's 3 times as bad) **and she made up some strange story about me getting attacked by a bear. I woke up in a hospital, you see," Ruka explained.

The stoic girl looked at me after she nodded to Ruka.

"You've probably already picked up on it but my family is also acting stranger than usual. Dad and Aoi both seem to know a lot about this mess, but they wont tell me anything. I also woke up in the hospital but I was told some lame excuse about me being in a car crash. What about you and this little girl?" I said, gesturing to the girl on my bed.

"Both of us woke up in the hospital around a month ago. Mikan only has her grandfather, but he told her she was also in a car crash. My parents told me one of my inventions had gone wrong. Mikan and I quickly discovered that the things our families were telling us weren't adding up to things we saw and heard about for ourselves. We decided to come on this journey when we used one of my inventions to overhear her grandpa and my mother talking. Our families definitely seem to know what's going on. My mother talked about my alice and she asked Mikan's grandfather if I couldn't remember how to use it as some sort of side-effect. They also mentioned there were others like us out there, although they never mentioned how many. For all we know there could be more of us out there," she said.

So we had all ended up in the hospital but the only common reason we were told was that Mikan and I had both been in car crashes. So this girl had an alice, just like Ruka and me.

"Um, so what's your alice? Natsume and I have alices too," Ruka voiced.

"I have the Invention Alice, or at least I had it. Like I already mentioned I don't remember how to use it anymore. It seems from all this that Mikan almost definitely has an Alice as well but neither of us knows what it is; she didn't know anything about the academy or alices until I told her. What are your alices?"

"I have the Animal Pheremone Alice and Natsume the Fire Alice, but like you we no longer remember how to use them. Because of my alice I just can't imagine any of the bears around here attacking me... Thankfully Usagi-chan hasn't left, even though I can't use my alice anymore," Ruka said with a small smile, scratching between the ears of the rabbit in his arms.

I saw the rabbit lean into him, its small eyes closed in joy. Suddenly something clicked in my head.

"Hey, those stones, they're alice stones. I'm sure of it," I said confidently.

It was so obvious that I mentally kicked myself for not realizing it earlier.

"Alice stones?" The stoic girl asked.

So she didn't know everything, did she? I felt a smirk form on my face. She glared daggers at me when she noticed my new expression.

"Natsume told me about those before. Apparently you can sometimes turn some of your alice into a solid form, a stone. But why do all four of us have alice stones," Ruka asked curiously.

My smirk faded to a small frown. Why did Ruka have to tell her so quickly?

"So if these are alice stones, then whose are they? Are they ours?" Hotaru mumbled to herself.

We examined the stones again. I looked at the stone I was holding, the light orange one. It wasn't my stone, I somehow knew that, but it still felt very precious to me.

Suddenly the door opened and we all glanced up to see my sister, a small smile on her face.

"Hey guys, how's Mikan-" She stopped, her eyes on what was in our hands. She went pale, the same shade as when she had first seen Mikan and when I had found them staring at each other in the hallway.

"WHAT ARE YOU DONG? GET AWAY FROM THOSE!"

[NatsumeXMikan]

Mikan's POV:

"WHAT ARE YOU DONG? GET AWAY FROM THOSE!"

What? Whose voice was that? Get away from what? Where am I?

I opened my eyes.

[NatsumeXMikan]

**Yeah I don't really have much to say... um please review?**


	9. Chapter 9

The Future Is Always Beginning Now: Chapter 9

**I'm going to stop responding to the reviews publicly since I'm starting to have so many (yay!) and instead starting this chapter I will just PM people. I will still list names at the beginning tho :)**

_Special Thanx:_

**Lliasa **

**Written. By. Leo  
**

**Yuri no Kimi **

**xSapphirexRosesxFanx **

**akadabra-kaching **

**Violet spirit **

**WitheredWings101 **

**marie **

**ShugoFan**

**Mikame15**

[NatsumeXMikan]

The best memory is that which forgets nothing, but injuries. Write kindness in marble and write injuries in the dust.

-Persian Proverb

[NatsumeXMikan]

-Recap-

"So if these are alice stones, then whose are they? Are they ours?" Hotaru mumbled to herself.

We examined the stones again. I looked at the stone I was holding, the light orange one. It wasn't my stone, I somehow knew that, but it still felt very precious to me.

Suddenly the door opened and we all glanced up to see my sister, a small smile on her face.

"Hey guys, how's Mikan-" She stopped, her eyes on what was in our hands. She went pale, the same shade as when she had first seen Mikan and when I had found them staring at each other in the hallway.

"WHAT ARE YOU DONG? GET AWAY FROM THOSE!"

[NatsumeXMikan]

Mikan's POV:

"WHAT ARE YOU DONG? GET AWAY FROM THOSE!"

What? Whose voice was that? Get away from what? Where am I?

I opened my eyes.

-Recap Over-

The light blinded me for a split second before my eyes adjusted. I saw the white of the ceiling above me. This wasn't my room... Where, then? The memories of the last few days, ever since I had gone home, came rushing back. I remembered that I was at Natsume's house...

I sat up a little, propping myself on my forearms as I looked around the room. I only briefly registered that Ruka-pyon, Hotaru, and Natsume were holding several stones, including my own crimson one, before Aoi ran over to them. The three of them looked too startled to resist as Aoi snatched two of the stones, my red one from Hotaru's hand and an orange one from Natsume's.

"Why? Why are you guys still searching? This was done for your sakes! Don't you guys want to be happy? If you keep searching, then all you're going to find is more pain!" Aoi was shouting at them by now, her face flushed and her eyes watery with unshed tears.

Everyone's eyes were wide, even Hotaru's, as we all tried to comprehend the meaning of her words. I sat up further; the only feeling coming through my shock was the prickling needle sensation of my forearms going to sleep.

Natsume's crimson eyes flickered in my direction; my movement as I changed position probably caught his attention. His eyes got even wider before he suddenly turned and closed the distance between himself and the bed I was currently sitting on.

"What happened?" I asked him curiously.

His serious crimson eyes probed my own, seeming to be searching for something.

"I could ask you the same question. What was that? Why did you black out?" He asked, his flame colored eyes never leaving mine.

I stared at him blankly for a moment. Black out? Then it hit me, all of it.

The tears.

The pain.

The blood.

The bodies.

Pink and blue.

My hands.

_Monster._

The images kept playing through my head, refusing to go away. There was so much pain in these memories. My memories. I tucked my knees into my chest, gripping my head tightly. Why wouldn't these images go away? I involuntarily let out a soft whimper.

"Mikan?" I heard the voice beside me say. The owner was in my memories, these memories of pain. I could remember now, remember that this crimson-eyed boy that I felt so strangely enamored with had hurt me. Badly. This boy meant pain, a lot of it.

I felt his hand touch my shoulder gently.

Pain.

I didn't want any more pain.

This boy would cause me more pain, I knew.

My body reacted, slapping his hand away. I looked into his shocked and hurt crimson eyes. I felt another stab of pain for being the one to cause that expression in his beautiful eyes. This only made me more upset; this boy would keep on hurting me if I didn't get away from him quickly.

"Stay away from me! Leave me alone!" I know I must have a wild look in my eyes right now. I felt wild, my emotions raging out of control.

It surprised me how he could wear such a painful expression. He didn't even resist when Hotaru came up to the bedside and pushed him out of the way. He just stood in his new spot, his eyes hidden by his raven colored bangs.

"Baka, calm down. What's wrong?" she asked me softly.

I hugged her, needing comfort. If things were going to turn out like this, then why did we come here in the first place? Why did we leave everything we knew and loved behind? I suddenly felt homesick. I wanted nothing more in this moment than to be back in my room, surrounded by the sheep on my walls, talking to grandpa. I wanted to see grandpa so much. Would he forgive me for running away like I did?

"Hotaru, can we go home? Please?" I begged softly.

"But what about finding our memories? Isn't that why we left home in the first place?" she asked me, shocked.

The scenes started playing in my head again.

"No, I don't want to remember anymore! Hotaru, I'm scared to remember," I told her, feeling my body start to shake.

A shocked silence followed my outburst. I just hugged Hotaru tighter, wishing we were back home.

"Mikan... Did you remember something?" I heard Aoi ask.

I lifted my head up to see Aoi still standing there, the two stones gripped tightly in her hands. She looked like she was fighting back tears. I hesitated a second before nodding.

"I saw…"

I paused, unsure of how to exactly put what I had seen into words, "I saw horrible, horrible things. There was so much blood, death, and pain. So much pain. I-I think there's a reason we lost our memories."

"You're right; there was a reason all four of you lost your memories," I heard a voice that I didn't recognize say.

A boy and a girl walked into the room then, sad smiles on their faces. The girl had shoulder length dull red hair and brownish red eyes. The boy was tall, with dark blue hair and eyes. There was a small black star under his left eye.

"Tsubasa! Misaki!" Aoi shouted excitedly, running over to hug the newcomers.

The sad smiles seemed to melt off their faces as they turned into laughing smiles.

"Hey there, Chibi," the girl said, as the boy ruffled Aoi's raven-colored locks affectionately.

"What are you both doing here? How did you get here so quickly? I thought you guys weren't coming until tomorrow morning?"

"Sakurano teleported us. When they told us what was going on over here we just couldn't wait, so we asked them to send us early," the boy said as Aoi went from the girl's arms to his.

I saw Natsume death-glare at the boy, who sweat-dropped at Natsume's reaction. The girl just snickered.

"Oi, oi. You don't even remember me, do you? It's so like you to dislike me before you even remember me, Natsume."

"Who are you, and what do you want?" Hotaru asked stonily, her eyes narrowing as she watched them.

The boy gently pushed Aoi away as both he and the girl became deathly serious.

"We're here to give you four a warning, and to offer you a choice."

[NatsumeXMikan]

**Okay so production has slowed again as you've probably noticed but thats because summer is over and I have a life again. Updates will still occur but will probably have 3-5 weeks between each one. Please review, this chapter made me a little nervous because some of it might seem a little random to some people but it isn't I swear! Just look at Chapter 7! Oh and sorry this was so short, but as I've explained before the ideas for each chapter have been written down and I can never tell how long a chapter is going to be until I write it. I was considering combining 2 chapters again but I wanted to post something since its already been so long since my last update. Peace out and please review!**


	10. Chapter 10

The Future Is Always Beginning Now: Chapter 10

**So... I kinda promised you guys a chapter after 3 or 4 weeks... and it's been a few months I think... I apologize but I have been VERY busy. Also I wrote this chapter a week ago but I just can't seem to contact my beta so unfortunitly this chapter has not been edited... yeah my sincere apologies I wanted to wait but I don't know when I'll be able to get in contact with her again and heck today is christmas after all so I decided to just post this. Hope you guys enjoy it :)**

_Special Thanx:_

**Lliasa**

**Twin**

**Mikame15**

**HoshinaYuki**

**Kylee-Cat**

**mrysmanga**

**xSapphirexRosesxFanx**

**B-Beth-chan**

**marie**

**VampireLover189**

**xsilvermistx**

**akadabra-kaching**

**XmaybelleX**

**xxxSakuraXionHinamorixxx**

[NatsumeXMikan]

"Of what significance are the things you can forget."

-Henry David Thoreau

[NatsumeXMikan]

-Recap-

_"Who are you, and what do you want?" Hotaru asked stonily, her eyes narrowing as she watched them._

_The boy gently pushed Aoi away as both he and the girl became deathly serious._

_"We're here to give you four a warning, and to offer you a choice."_

-Recap Over-

"What do you mean?" Ruka asked them shakily.

The boy and the girl exchanged a look.

These two people seemed familiar to me. Very familiar. They weren't as familiar as Natsume or Ruka had been, but there was a strong feeling there none the less.

The girl sighed, taking a second to let her gaze flick over to each of us.

"My name is Misaki Harada and this guy next to me is my friend Tsubasa Andou. We were both close friends of yours back in the Academy, but you guys don't remember us do you?" the girl said, smiling sadly again.

The word sempai popped into my head as she introduced them.

"The last six years... were not happy ones for you guys. Your memories were taken away because there are a lot of people that care about you and wanted to give you guys a second chance at life," Misaki-sempai said.

"The choice we're going to give you is not simple or easy. You guys can choose to regain your memories or we can erace your memories again, this time of everything you've remembered and what you've experienced since you woke up. Each one of you will have to individually decide what you want to do. You shouldn't decide yet though, we need to tell you a few things first," Tsubasa-sempai said.

"We can't really tell you what the process of regaining your memories will be like, everybody is different, but there is a large possibility that it will be painful most of the time. Mikan has unfortunitly already experienced this. It usually hurts the most the stronger the memories are and how many you remember at once, but like I said, everyone reacts differently. I have to warn you guys, if you choose to continue regaining your memories, you will definitely be pulled into unpleasant situations that revolve around the complex politics of the academy," Misaki-sempai continued.

As I was taking in all the information these two were feeding us I realized how practiced this sounded. It sounded like this was a speech that these two had worked on for a long time. The way one would continue right after the other had finished, the timing, it was just too perfect for this to have been their first time saying these things.

"If you guys choose to remember then we will take you back to the academy with us so you can remember. We can't bring back your memories like we took them away because it just doesn't work that way, you can however remember things on your own if you have the things and people around you that can help resurface memories they were in. For example Misaki and I will explain what happened to you in the past, and then basically tell you whatever you want to know about all the different things we experienced with you. This doesn't mean those memories will come back right away but, given time, they should eventually resurface. If you remember things we will also help by explaining what we can about those memories," Tsubasa-sempai said, his face and tone so serious that, for some reason even though I was feeling so crappy right now, I wanted to laugh.

"It's not just the two of us either. There are a lot of people who miss you guys and have shared so many memories with you all, but if you choose to forget then they will all accept it. Everyone at the academy just wants you guys to be happy and, if you want, will welcome you guys back to the academy with open arms," Misaki-sempai said, her smile less sad now.

Tsubasa-sempai opened his mouth to continue but stopped as Aoi had an angry outburst at the two people she had just hugged and warmly welcomed.

"And? Are you going to explain to them one of the reasons their memories were taken away in the first place? Are you going to explain to Natsume and Mikan that their memories were taken away mostly so they would even have a life at all?" She shouted at them angrily.

Tsubasa-sempai closed his mouth, hesitating, before sharing a look with Misaki-sempai.

"Tsubasa... They have a right to know before they decide anything," Misaki-sempai said, sighing.

Tsubasa-sempai nodded before training his eyes dark blue eyes on Natsume and me.

"Aoi is right. Mikan, Natsume, as Aoi said there was another reason your memories were taken away. Both of your life spans were being shortened by al-, by something. This something was eating away at your lives every time you used them."

Hotaru cleared her throat, preventing Tsubasa-sempai or Misaki-sempai from continuing any farther.

"This something, you're talking about alices aren't you?" She asked, her eyes staring stoically at Tsubasa-sempai.

Aoi, Tsubasa-sempai, and Misaki-sempai all looked taken aback like they couldn't believe what they were hearing. Tsubasa-sempai let out a whistle.

"So you've learned that much already, huh?" He asked, still looking a little shell-shocked.

"You're all idiots," She replied, her expression unchanging.

"Wha-?" Tsubasa-sempai said, sweat-dropping.

"You only wiped our memories of the last 6-8 years, not our entire lives. I've known about alices for as long as I can remember and I know I have the Invention Alice, but for unknown reasons I can't seem to use it. The first thing I did when I got home was take apart one of my old inventions because I knew I needed things to help discover what had happened to me, but to my dismay I couldn't figure out what to do with any of the pieces or rebuild it."

"M-me and Natsume as well! Ever since I can remember I've had the animal pheremone alice and all animals have always loved me as much as I loved them, b-but now it's different! N-now all the animals except for Usagi-chan, whose been with me since he was born, treat me like everyone else... I can't go into the nearby forest now without being afraid the bears will attack me even though I used to be such great friends with them. Natsume is the same with his fire alice. He would never admet it, but I know he can't produce any flames now," Ruka-pyon said shyly, looking for all the world like a traumatized child when he talked about how the animals were treating him now.

I saw Usagi-chan look worriedly up at Ruka-pyon, reaching up to touch the boy's face with his nose as if to comfort him. Ruka-pyon hugged him tightly to his chest in response, burying his own nose into Usagi-chan's soft white fur. I noticed Tsubasa-sempai and Misaki-sempai look at each other again, confusion written all over their faces.

"But I thought..." Tsubasa-sempai murmered trailing off.

"Yeah, I thought so too," Misaki-sempai replied warily.

"Well... To tell you guys the truth we don't really know why you all can't use your alices if you remember you have them..." Misaki-sempai told us, closing her eyes and pushing her right index finger tip against the center of her forehead, which was tense as she tried to think.

"Unfortunitly, Misaki and I can't answer anymore of your questions before you make your choices, reeracing your memories will be difficult enough as it is if you chose that," Tsubasa-sempai told us gently.

"Isn't the choice obvious, idiots?" Hotaru said, like she was annoyed they would even question what her decision would be.

Natsume just glared at Tsubasa-sempai, causing Tsubasa-sempai to chuckle nervously while Misaki-sempai sniggered behind her hand.

"I want to regain my memory if Natsume does," Ruka-pyon said shyly.

It happened so fast that I almost missed the quick glance he gave Hotaru when he said Natsume's name.

"Well, Natsume?" Tsubasa-sempai asked him.

"Hn," Was the only reply he got from the crimson-eyed boy.

"So thats three out of four for regaining your memories," Misaki-sempai exclaimed excitedly. "What about you Mikan?" She smiled at me like she already knew what my answer would be.

I thought back to my newly awakened memories, what had happened to me to get them, and all the information Misaki-sempai and Tsubasa-sempai had told us. I knew my decision.

"No. I want my memories to be eraced again and for me to go home," I declared, completely sure of my choice.

It wasn't until I saw Tsubasa-sempai and Misaki-sempai both give me understanding and sympathetic looks, that I noticed my hands were shaking violently.

"Tsubasa, I think it might be better if we give them some time to think about their decisions. This choice will change their lives no matter what they decide and it's not something that should be decided in a few minutes," Misaki-sempai said softly to Tsubasa-sempai.

"I think you're right," He responded, nodding. "All right you guys, we're going to give you four some time to think about this. We'll be back in the morning to get your answers, so think them over carefully."

"Why? I'm not going to change my mind," I said, my voice as monotone as Hotaru's.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Natsume staring at me, but I refused to meet his gaze, unwilling to let those crimson eyes undermine my confidence in my decision. Why did the feeling of his stare make me feel so guilty?

"You don't know that for sure Mikan and the extra time is for everyone to think about their decisions, not just you," Tsubasa-sempia said, gently.

"We'll see you guys in the morning," Misaki-sempai said loudly, before she and Tsubasa-sempai turned around towards the door.

I looked up and saw Tsubasa-sempai ruffling Aoi's hair again before he paused, his hand frozen in place on her head. I couldn't see his expression since his back was turned to me. Misaki-sempai paused as well, the smile on her face turning into a look of astonishment. Aoi blinked up at them curiously.

"Aoi? What are you holding in your hands?" Tsubasa-sempai asked, surprised.

Aoi had a look of confusion before she looked down and saw the alice stones she was still gripping tightly. She silently held them up, offering them to Tsubasa-sempai. As Tsubasa-sempai gently picked up the crimson and orange stones, I heard a sort of growling noise. It sounded angry and possesive, and I just knew it came from Natsume.

"But these are definitely-," Misaki-sempai gasped, looking up from the stones in Tsubasa-sempai's hands to me and Natsume.

Hotaru stepped forward at that moment, holding out her white stone to them. She quickly gestered for Ruka-pyon to do the same. He jumped a little in surprise but then did the same with his purple stone.

"Wha-?" Tsubasa-sempai voiced, turning around as he accepted both stones.

"A few nights ago we each received a package with no return address. In each package there was a stone and a note. The crimson stone was sent to Mikan, the purple to bunny boy, the orange to the other guy, and the white stone was sent to me," Hotaru explained to them.

"And the note? What did the note say?" Misaki-sempai asked excitedly.

"It only had two words, _Don't Forget."_

Tsubasa-sempai and Misaki-sempai looked to each other with surprised but strangely excited looks. Then both of them burst out laughing.

"That girl, she knew everything didn't she?" Tsubasa-sempai gasped, as he shook his head from side-to-side.

Misaki-sempai had stopped laughing and was now sporting had a huge grin on her face. Tsubasa-sempai took the white and purple stones from his hand, placing the white stone in Hotaru's hand and the purple in Ruka-pyon's. Then he walked past them to where Natsume was standing. As Tsubasa-sempai reached out to give the orange stone to Natsume, Natsume glared at him and swiped it, making Tsuabasa-sempai chuckle. Tsubasa-sempai then came over to me, and with a gentle smile on his face placed the crimson stone into my open hand. I clutched it tightly to my chest, looking down so as to avoid all the eyes I knew were currently on me.

"This time we're really leaving, see you guys bright and early tomorrow," Misaki-sempai said, before two sets of footsteps could be heard walking down the hallway.

There was a pause before I heard a third pair, which made much smaller sounds, follow after them. After all the footsteps had faded away, an awkward silence filled the room. The silence was heavy and felt like it lasted for ages, when it was probably only a few minutes. The whole time I could feel three pairs of eyes on me. It was Hotaru, unexpectedly, who finally broke the silence.

"Mikan, are you really sure this is what you want?" She asked, an almost pleading note to her voice.

"Hotaru, if you had only seen what I saw... Hotaru, it was horrible! It was painful, so painful, and there was so much blood and death... You would understand my choice if you saw it too. You wouldn't want to remember..." I was still refusing to look up at any of them.

Suddenly, there was a loud crash that made me look up in surprise. I regretted it as soon as I saw what had caused the noise, as soon as I saw the anger and hurt spiraling in those crimson eyes.

"So you're just giving up? Just like that? You didn't see everything though, did you? You didn't see everything that's happened in the last six years in that short amount of time you were out cold! So you saw a few painful memories and you decide nothing else is worth those memories?" Natsume shouted, his intensity startling me before my own anger rose to the surface.

"YOU DIDN'T SEE! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! DON'T ACCUSE ME UNTIL YOU CAN UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW!" I shouted back, tears prickling at the back of my eyes but refusing to flow.

"Coward."

His gaze now wasn't angry or hurt, it was cold. So cold. He stepped over the broken bits of chair as he left the room. It felt like he was taking my heart with him, each step he took causing a huge stab of pain in my chest until it was like I couldn't feel it there at all.

Ruka-pyon who had been rooted to the ground, starring wide-eyed during the whole thing, suddenly relaxed. He looked at me, but I was too upset to read whatever emotions lay there. Then he looked at Hotaru for a long time before he bowed his head slightly, breaking eye contact, and followed after Natsume.

[NatsumeXMikan]

**By the way I found out the chapters were too short again and combined them so only a few left! Please review!**


	11. Chapter 11

The Future Is Always Beginning Now: Chapter 11

**So... I'm not dead *insert apologetic puppy dog eyes here* I was actually very busy until early June but after that... well I don't really have an excuse (a good one anyway). I was gonna combine 2 chaps again 2 make up for taking so long to update but I went out of "writer's mode" and started playing Civilization 5. Needless to say, world domination is not only hell of a lotta fun, but also very time consuming and distracting. Anyway the chapter was already longer than my usual one by a lot and I didn't know when I'd be able to drag myself away from taking over the world long enough to finish the thing so I thought it would be best to post what I already had. My beta has yet again gone incognito on me (she's a VERY busy person so it's not really that surprising or unusual) so this chapter was edited by my twin, who says you should all bow before her and kiss her boots in worship :) **

_Special Thanx:_

**nat. mikan143**

**xxxSakuraXionHinamorixxx**

**Melyss**

**xSapphirexRosesxFanx**

**Kylee-Cat**

**madi**

**freehugzzxaim**

**HoshinaYuki**

**Twin**

**pwenie**

[NatsumeXMikan]

"The heart's memory eliminates the bad and magnifies the good." -Gabriel Garcia Marquez

[NatsumeXMikan]

-Recap-

_Suddenly, there was a loud crash that made me look up in surprise. I regretted it as soon as I saw what had caused the noise, as soon as I saw the anger and hurt spiraling in those crimson eyes._

_"So you're just giving up? Just like that? You didn't see everything though, did you? You didn't see everything that's happened in the last six years in that short amount of time you were out cold! So you saw a few painful memories and you decide nothing else is worth those memories?" Natsume shouted, his intensity startling me before my own anger rose to the surface._

_"YOU DIDN'T SEE! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! DON'T ACCUSE ME UNTIL YOU CAN UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW!" I shouted back, tears prickling at the back of my eyes but refusing to flow._

_"Coward."_

_His gaze now wasn't angry or hurt, it was cold. So cold. He stepped over the broken bits of chair as he left the room. It felt like he was taking my heart with him, each step he took causing a huge stab of pain in my chest until it was like I couldn't feel it there at all._

_Ruka-pyon who had been rooted to the ground, staring wide-eyed during the whole thing, suddenly relaxed. He looked at me, but I was too upset to read whatever emotions lay there. Then he looked at Hotaru for a long time before he bowed his head slightly, breaking eye contact, and followed after Natsume._

-Recap Over-

Ruka's POV:

I didn't even have to look to know what, no, who had caused the loud crash. A splintered wooden object landed near me and slid until it came to a stop at my foot. I instantly recognized it as one of the legs that belonged to Natsume's chair. I frowned, staring at the almost offensive object resting next to my foot. Natsume had been acting strangely ever since Mikan showed up earlier today on our shopping trip. I know that I only have around a month and a half of memories with Natsume in them, so I can't say exactly claim that I know everything about him, but I just know that this new side of Natsume I've been witness to is a side only Mikan can bring out of him. It was another one of the weird certainties I have, that I'm quickly getting used to, that basically have no backing behind them, but I just know they're right, even without the memories taken from me to prove them.

From the moment when Natsume walked into my classroom all those years ago, to my last memory before the blank (which was of me, Natsume, Aoi, Mr. Hyuuga, and the two bodyguards my mother had hired all falling asleep in futons on a wooden floor in Natsume's house), my eight-year-old world was flipped upside down and taken on a roller coaster ride. During that week I'd known Natsume, which was before the blank in my memories started, I thought I'd seen all of the emotions Natsume would allow himself to express. Well at least, that's what I thought before today; before Mikan came.

I'd seen his surprised face when that stupid girl in my class told Natsume about my alice, Natsume's deadly face when a man sent to kidnap me attacked Natsume with a knife, the teasing smirk he's so famous for when he called me 'Ruu-chan', his 'what the hell?' face when the gay sounding man climbed over our school gate, the face that clearly expressed his surprise and shock when Honey tried to scare us, the small smile that graced Natsume's features when he complimented my alice, and the sleeping face Natsume wore as we drifted off to sleep with our hands grasping each other.

Since we both woke up in the hospital room, outside of his normal stoic one, I've only seen two expressions on Natsume's face. There was the one I would almost always catch him wearing when he wasn't doing anything in particular; a slight frown as one of his hands touched the pale orange stone around his neck, his eyes staring blankly without focus. During such moments, it seemed like Natsume was too deep in his own thoughts to notice the outside world and it was almost like he was longing for something. The other expression I'd only ever seen once when I went running over to Natsume's house after I had opened the mysterious package containing the purple stone and cryptic note. A half-asleep Aoi had let me in, and I'd rushed to Natsume's room only to see him sitting on his bed with an empty box resting next to him, and wearing the happiest, most gentle smile I've ever seen on anyone's face before, let alone Natsume's. His crimson eyes had gazed down on the pale orange stone he had lying delicately in the palm of his hand.

Even though, those were all of his expressions I can remember seeing on Natsume's usually stoic face, I'd seen just as many, if not more, new expressions since Mikan and Hotaru showed up earlier today. I've never seen Natsume look confused or puzzled before, until he first met Mikan today. Natsume's a genius so most things don't confuse him to start with, and combined with Natsume's personality, which sees those kind of things as signs of weakness, it was one of the expressions I thought was never going to witness, and yet Mikan had brought it out of him in less than a minute.

It wasn't just expressions either; Natsume was acting like an entirely different person. Ever since Natsume had first laid eyes on Mikan in the street, he hardly ever shifted his gaze anywhere else. It was almost like Natsume was... Fascinated? Entranced? Captivated? Hypnotized? No, none of those seem quite right. Maybe the right description would hit me later, but either way it was very not very Natsume-like. After Mikan had gone to find Aoi for dessert, Natsume hadn't taken his crimson eyes off the door. He even followed after when she didn't return a minute later. When Aoi came running into the room a few minutes later looking panicked and telling us something was wrong with Mikan, I had dashed into the hallway only to hear Natsume shouting Mikan's name in alarm. He sounded... scared. That made me scared; my seemingly invincible best friend was shouting like that. I watched Natsume's expression after he had picked up the unconscious girl bridal style from the floor, and then when he carried her to his bedroom. For once, Natsume's face had been unguarded, an open book for the rest of world to so easily read. There had been worry, anxiety, and something akin to worship when he had gazed at the girl in his arms.

Natsume's instant dislike of both Hotaru and Tsubasa was just plain amusing, though. He practically radiated jealousy and possession when either one spoke or got near Mikan. He had looked like an alpha wolf who growled at anyone he perceived as a rival, even if only a potential one, for his mate. God knows what kind of forgotten history there must be to make Natsume immediately react like that to Tsubasa, who clearly hadn't been interested and already had a girl he loved with him. As for his reaction to Hotaru and Hotaru's to him... well at least that relationship was more or less transparent and straightforward. Hotaru was also like an alpha wolf, whose dominance, permeating the room, battled Natsume's own. They were equals, both of whom refused to turn away until the other bowed before them. Even without Mikan, the dominance battle between them came as natural as breathing, but Mikan's presence made the unspoken war much more personal.

When Mikan woke up and slapped Natsume's hand away, Natsume had made such a hurt face that I wanted nothing more than the ability to take away his pain and to make that expression disappear forever.

It was a different sort of pain that I knew Natsume was experiencing now though. I felt only a flicker of the betrayal and anger at Mikan's outburst compared to the searing white-hot flame I knew Natsume's mind contained. The smashed chair was proof enough.

"So you're just giving up? Just like that? You didn't see everything though, did you? You didn't see everything that's happened in the last six years in that short amount of time you were out cold! So you saw a few painful memories and you decide nothing else is worth those memories?" Natsume shouted at Mikan.

"YOU DIDN'T SEE! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! DON'T ACCUSE ME UNTIL YOU CAN UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW!" She shouted back at him, so upset that I could see her eyes shine with unshed tears.

"Coward."

I've never seen Natsume act this cold or be this furious with anyone before. The fact that Mikan wasn't willing to find the memories of her forgotten past, to find her memories of him, hurt and infuriated Natsume to the point that he's practically shut himself down emotionally. Something inside of me whimpered at the emotionless and cold look Natsume gave Mikan; it wasn't right; it wasn't natural.

Natsume stepped over the broken bits that used to make up his chair and left, slamming the door behind him. As the sound reverberated through the air, and a deafening silence took over, I felt my body relax. In the midst of all the confusion, panic, and whirlwind of other emotions that made up today, especially in this moment, a sudden clarity moved over my muscles like a wave, relaxing them. Natsume was my best friend and while we may be guys, and therefore not really into the whole 'talking about our feelings' thing, I still needed to show him I'm on his side, no matter what.

My eyes traveled to the bed where Mikan sat, still in shock about what just happened. She was visibly trembling and looked as though she could crumble into pieces at any moment. I felt worry rise up at the very thought; even though this person wasn't important to me in the same way I knew she was to Natsume, she was still important to me. My gaze quickly transferred to the person beside her, who was holding the shaking girl in her arms as her violet orbs met my cerulean ones. I wanted to lose myself in those eyes, wanted to do it more than anything, but I knew now wasn't the time nor the place. I could read my own worry for Mikan reflected ten-fold in Hotaru's eyes, but as she looked at me I knew she was telling me to go and take care of my best friend while she stayed here and looked after hers.

I bowed my head slightly, showing her I understood, before I crossed the room. I made sure to close the door softly behind me as I headed to the one place I knew Natsume would go.

The roof.

I headed down the hallway before entering the living room, and from there I proceeded out of the back door, which led to the garden outside. After closing the door behind me, I turned to face the wall next to it, where a somewhat rusty ladder made a path up the wall. I started to climb, wincing just a little when the ladder made creaking noises under my weight.

I let out a small sigh as I reached the top of the ladder and saw Natsume lying on his back with his eyes closed. His knees were bent so that the bottom of his feet rested on the rough tiles beneath him and his arms went behind him in a way that caused his hands to become a makeshift pillow. Despite his position, Natsume obviously wasn't relaxed; every muscle in his body was tense and a small frown marred his face.

I was glad Natsume's eyes remained shut, even though I knew he was aware of my presence already, as I made a few awkward movements to climb onto the roof from the ladder. I knew Usagi-chan was laughing at me, as he hopped off the top of my head onto the rooftop. His nose and whiskers were twitching wildly and I almost scowled at him. He shouldn't be finding this amusing when he needed my head to even get up onto the roof in the first place.

Deciding to ignore Usagi-chan for the moment, I made my way over to the spot where Natsume was laying and sat down next to him. I pulled my knees into my chest, using my arms to hold them in place while I leaned my head back to look at stars which were starting to populate the darkening sky.

"Natsume, what's wrong? I've never seen you this furious at anyone before, so why did you respond like that to Mikan?" I said softly. Just because I've already realized the reason doesn't mean Natsume had.

"It's nothing, Ruka. That girl just rubs me the wrong way," Natsume grumbled, not even bothering to open his eyes and look at me.

So that was the conclusion Natsume came up with to explain his weird behavior ever since Mikan and Hotaru showed up today...

I made a noncommittal hum in response before we both lapsed into a long, comfortable silence. I watched as the sky slowly turned into a dark navy color. Usagi-chan was sprawled out beside me like some kind of long-eared cat and his legs twitched occasionally as he slept.

Natsume suddenly shifted a little beside me and my eyes focused automatically on the flash of color that tumbled out of his collar. At some point before I got here, Natsume must've taken the time to put the tangerine colored stone back around his neck. I'd only put my purple one into my pocket for safe keeping until I had time to refasten it later.

Tangerine colored... Mikan colored...

I couldn't help but let out a small snort of laughter as I realized fate's bad sense of humor.

Natsume opened his crimson eyes quickly and looked askance at me, before shifting his gaze to the precious item hanging around his neck.

"Sorry, it's just, well, your stone; its color," I told him, unable to stop the smile on my face.

Natsume just cocked an eyebrow at me.

"It just occurred to me that your stone, which, since you first got it, I've only seen you take off once downstairs just now, is the same color as a mikan, which just so happens to be the name of the girl downstairs on your bed, which you carried her to in your arms," I told him. Even if it was kinda a lame joke by whatever power decided a person's alice stone color, it was still kinda sweet. Mikan's precious stone was a crimson color and, with its roundish shape, her stone looked remarkably like a jujube...

Jujube... Natsume...

I had opened my mouth to share this second revelation with Natsume when I finally noticed his expression. His face looked like his brain had been shorted-out and, for a split second, I wondered if I'd broken him.

"Natsume...?"

My voice seemed to fix whatever had broken as his 'does not compute' expression was replaced by irritation and a slight blush.

"Don't be an idiot, Ruka. It's just a coincidence. It doesn't mean anything."

I couldn't help but stare and marvel at the flustered Natsume in front of me. Suddenly Natsume's mouth formed into his infamous smirk.

"You know, since we're on the subject of strange coincidences, how about your stone? I can't help but notice it's the same purple color of that other girl's eyes," He teased, obviously not taking his own observation seriously.

Wha-?

Without even really thinking about it, my hand reached into my pocket and pulled out my treasured violet stone.

Huh. Natsume was right. It's the exact same color as Hotaru's eyes. Those beautiful eyes I could lose myself in...

I glanced from the stone in my palm to Natsume, whose stoic expression had locked back into place again as he watched me. Then everything finally clicked into place as I realized the name for my feelings towards the raven-haired, violet-eyed girl downstairs and Natsume's feelings for Mikan. My heart started racing as the idea floated around inside my head.

"Natsume?" I asked a little shakily.

"Hn."

"Do you think it's possible... that we're in love?"

Love. The word rolled off my tongue like something foreign but a surge of satisfaction rose up within me at how _right_ it sounded.

Natsume sat up quickly, his eyes reflecting the surprise that his face refused to show.

"I mean, the four of us are all sixteen, even though we can't remember the last eight years, well, six years in their case. It wouldn't really be that surprising, would it? According to Tsubasa and Misaki, the four of us were all involved in something pretty big together and from what I've seen, from what I've been experiencing since we met Mikan and Hotaru today, it seems like we were all really close. The only question is how close exactly and if they feel the same way. I mean, think about it, Natsume! It all makes sense now!" I babbled excitedly at him.

"No way."

"Oh, come on, Natsume! Are you really going to deny the connection both of us feel? Besides love, what other reason could there possibly be for how strangely you've been acting today?"

Natsume turned his head to the side and looked away from me, his growing frustration obvious.

"I told you, she just rubs me the wrong way, Ruka. She's just an annoying little girl who's being a coward," Natsume muttered irritatedly.

"But, Natsume, if that's all Mikan really is to you then why were you so worried about her earlier when she collapsed?"

Natsume grimaced a little but otherwise refused to respond.

I sighed. Natsume could be so stubborn sometimes.

"Fine, then at least explain to me how a girl, who only 'rubs you the wrong way,' was able to make you so upset that you smashed your chair into pieces and fled up here."

The only sound I could hear, besides the sound of my own heartbeat, was the soft hooting of an owl in the distance. I looked down to where one of Natsume's hands was resting at his side. The moonlight made Natsume's clenched, white knuckles seem to almost glow in a soft eerie way.

"Natsume, you love her. You love Mikan. That Tsubasa guy made you jealous, even though he had his fiance with him. You were so worried when Mikan collapsed because she's special to you and you care about her immensely. And now you're up here on your roof because she rejected you by rejecting her memories of you. She's so scared of whatever memories she remembered that she's now giving up and trying to push you out of her life without even giving you a chance. You feel so betrayed because you love her so much that, even without any real memories of who she is, you're a mess just because she's around you."

As each word fell off my tongue and resounded into night, I once again felt a sense of rightness and satisfaction wash over me. I'd fulfilled my role in this mess, and given Natsume a shove in the right direction. Now it was up to Natsume whether or not he was willing to take the final step and admit to himself what he'd been trying to deny since Mikan fell in front of him this morning.

Natsume turned his head back towards me. We stared at each other for a moment before Natsume shifted his position into the exact same one I found him in. As his crimson eyes became hidden behind his eyelids, I realized it wasn't the exact same one; there was one small, and yet huge, difference between then and now in his physical state.

"Hn. Maybe you're right," Natsume said, so softly I almost thought I'd imagined it. Almost.

There was no longer any visible tension in his body.

He was relaxed and calm.

I couldn't have stopped the smile my lips formed even if I'd wanted to.

* * *

Mikan's POV:

"That perverted jerk! How dare he! What right does he have to call me a coward when he doesn't even remember anything about me! Who needs Natsume, anyway? Right, Hotaru?"

When silence was the only thing that greeted my heated inquiry, my eyes quickly swiveled from the doorway, which both boys had recently exited, and to the stoic face of my best friend. Her violet eyes were steady as she observed me. Her unwavering focus made me feel like I was some kind of puzzle or riddle that she was trying to solve. A memory surfaced of a eight-year-old Hotaru watching her robotic-pet rat run and cower inside its little plastic shelter instead of greeting Hotaru like it normally did. When I'd asked her where it was a week later, Hotaru told me she'd taken it apart to 'fix' it.

"Hotaru? What's wrong?"

She acted like I hadn't said anything and just continued to stare. Now her gaze was starting to make me feel uneasy, like I was a small child who didn't know that her parents had already found the empty cookie-jar and were just trying to see if she would confess before they confronted her. Why was I starting to feel guilty? What did I have to feel guilty about? I hadn't done anything wrong.

Hotaru was planning on going back home with me, right? She was on my side, right? She didn't think I was being a coward... right?


End file.
